first day your back!

today!

todaytodaytodayyy.

well.today was not at all as nerve racking as i thought.i was really ok with everything mentally.i just felt,i'm going to do it.like it.be proud of it.and then its out of my hands.i wasn't nervous mentally.but apparently i was nervous physically.cause i was rocking or swaying,and i do that all the time when i'm nervous,its like my nervous reflex.

so my body was nervous without telling my head.thanks body.

but slating i'm a bit confused about.like how do you show who you are?i thought iwas fine,but i was nervous.so how do you get rid of that?

and i talked to a miget.i don't know!i felt like i was in eye line with an actual person,but did i really look that far down????

and i was thinking about something else today.i've just had alot on my mind and i was trying to keep it out,but i guess it still showed.i'm really sorry about that.

and my perfectionist side.i really didn't think i was doing that!i really thought last week i just got over that.and i didn't do my monologue perfect,but i still felt good about it.so i don't see how the perfectionist side came out...

i really just wish i could have seen myself perform it.thats what's driving me crazy.i feel like i did ok,from my point of view.but i feel like viewing it my setting isn't definate,my other actor isn't there.and i'm being really fake.its bugging me,that i think this but i've never heard it from anyone.no one that watched the first time with phil,you didn't say anything.so i'm just so confused.if my mind explodes,you can ignore it.

pg-100

i performed my monologue today.good, bad, however i did.i did it.and i feel that i was pretty calm about the situation.way less nervous than the first time.but i feel like last time might have been better.maybe i need some nerves to make it better.