thursday's post

well im not positive if were supposed to blog since we didnt have school.but better safe than sorry.

so i finally finished street car.that only took me forever.this last scene has like the only differences i see between the movie and the play.they're slight but they're there.

when blanche starts to hear the music,i know the meaning of the polka cause it was playing when her husband died,but this part has jungle noises as well.what do those mean?because i thinkbut im not positive that they were in a different part of the play and movie.so im just wondering if those have any mega significance.

and i don't remember stanley coming to confort stella after blanch leaves in the movie.even though it wasn't really "confort" it was more of trying to seduse her,but in the movie he did nothing.which made me think he didnt care at all,and i guess even this REALLY poor attempt at confort made him seem like a cared a little bit.but i guess in general stanley doesn't really caree for stella.thats really what i think about him!he's just a hot head and he just blows everyhting off of him that means anything.but little comments piss him off like crazy.it just frustrating to see him not care.

tuesday's post

this part just gives me the worst chills and creeps and just weirdness.stanley is that mix between scary,weird,and alluring.it doesn't help that he's drunk of his butits how he knows that blanche is afraid and how she wants to leave,and he's just going to toy with her and let her leave,but hold her back.i don't think though that he had the intention of raping her until it happened.i mean marlon brando pulled that off magically,but tennessee williams created that spark thinking with stanley through words.

blanche is the complete opposite.she's got her grand plan.she knows her fantasy word and her reality where the lies come out.she has the predictability but a slight bit of unsure.she has an idea of whats going to happen,but then she desides on the spot.she thought the worst though far before stanley knew anythign was going to happen.i dont think stanley thought anything of it at first,but blanche's bad thinking pushed him to that breaking point and he decided.

what was blanche trying to do by calling her admirer and western union?what would that do for her?because she was afraid,but wouldn't you call the police or something? not your fake admirer from dallas.or western union.if i was that afraid i would be calling 911!

maybe its her constant want fot the knight in shining armor fantasy,the police dont do that.but an admirer arriving with assistance is that knight,even when her life is in danger she looks for her man.

pg-100
so today was the last day of auditions.only slightly less scary.i could speek better today.javi's play just confuses me.i have no idea what its really about.i have an extremely vague idea.but auditions made that harder to understand a bit.but i'm really excited for freshman showcase now.it feels so "real" now.like were going to be on stage performing.

monday's post

blanche i feel like hasthis "man-memory".when someone hurts her she goes back to the day she lost her husband,when she hurt someone.its like this reflex of pain any pain around her she just goes back into her memory.

mitch has a backbone here!he finally stops being whipped basically by blanche and i say good for him!blanche used him for her own attention addiction.and when the attention left she lost her head.when he comes back to her she thinks he's going to be the same spineless guy she knows and "loves".i don't think blanche's feelings for mitch are very true.i think after loosing her husband and her prostitution days she's lost that ability for making real loving connections.if its not for attention and positive attention at that,she doesn't want anything to do with them.

could blanche's insecurity about her apperance be her desire to go back to when she was happy?and to hold on to the times when she had no cares,had her love and no family problems.she wants to stay in that young and fun time period for her.her age brings her away from that.besides just being pretty and wanting attention she's like anyone else.age is what holds you on to your happy days.and blanche has a great reason to want to hold on to her happy days.before death and responsibility and all her pain.thats what old means to her.so young is her salvation.

monday's participation

pg-100

auditions today.besides me not being able to say anything correctly,and stumbling over all the wordsand totally not making sense at times.i think it went ok.it was fun auditioning.and i'm debating on writing a play.i've always wanted to write something.so i'm just going to see where it goes and then decide to continue or not.

thursday's post and friday's participation.

scene 8!

happy birthday to blanche.

when i read this scene all i could picture was marlon brando in all his amazing-ness.eating and acting,breaking the plates,yelling and getting mad.its just crazy.

this is one scene though when you can see the love between stella and stanley.stanley was just an asshole to blanche and gave her the ticket home,and he just really tries to calm stella down and tell her how things will be better again.how they'll have their life back again.

blanche has her additude of "i can get any guy i want" back when mitch stands her up.i really just want to tell her maybe you can't get every guy!because your not perfect at all.your actually kinda crazy.so way to go.

stanley has such the manly man additude here.he doesn't want anyone to tell him what to do,how to act,or poking fun at him.he has it naturally through out the play but it just becomes so forward in this scene.maybe because the two girls finally got the nerve to say something or he just gets mad here,who knows?but its just so scary.because he doesn't do it respectfully,he does it in a scary, "fear me!" way.i would be terrified of him.

and stella has her baby.yay!

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pg 100

so we had our misner with lou today.and i tried repetition for the second time.i was so afraid though.regradless if misner has no right or worng way,i always feel wrong.whether you say its ok however you do it i still feel like there is a better way.i feel like i'm falling behind or something from the other freshman and its scary.i just feel so wrong when i tried today.and i wasn't letting much effect me,which isn't good.and i know i wasn't.its just so-not complicated and not hard but its complicated and hard.so i just dont know.i'm happy i attempted though.one day i'll get there.

thursday's participation

pg-100

today i took notes about our resumes and head shots.and i will soon be making a completely new resume.and i participated in today's discussion.sorry if i looked out of it at all today.i haven't been feeling fantastic.and i know my blogs are like totally off on the days but i'm going to start not screwed up next week.

wednesday's post

scene 7

stanley told stella all of blanche's secrets while blanche just takes her bath and is happy and singing.

i know stella comes from the same backround as blanche but i feel like she's un educated.like she's on the same level as stanley rather than her sister.but i feel so bad for stella because she always has to care for blanche.she's pregnant!and she's the little sister.blanche should just learn to be her own person by now.she has to realise that she's lost her job,her old home,she has no one to support her,and she's going to have to leave stella and stanley at some point,so why isn't she adjusting while she can?why continue hanging on to people when they wont be there very soon?

it really annoys me that stanley told mitch about blanche's past,like if he hates her that much why ruin her chances at leaving him alone and possibly getting married to mitch or at least dating or something!him letting her secrets out just makes everything worse.or if he REALLY hated her why not let her secrets come out when she's with mitch?i guess he was protecting mitch but i mean if hurting blanche was his main goal there are far better ways of going about that.

i also love how blanche is singing about believing,when her secrets are being told behind her back.its such an perfect subject for the scene.stella doesn't believe stanley and blanche still believes all of her lies are being accepted as the truth.the irony is just great.its like such a contrast,blanche being happy and cheerful and stella and stanley having this really serious conversation on trust and blanche's history.i think thats like such a great moment.

wednesday's participation

pg-100
today we finished the movie.and i'm excited to read the rest of it.i like watching movies but i feel like i understand it so much more when i just see the text in front of me.plus today we herd our freshman showcase scenes.i'm just getting really...unsure i guess...of like my ability for these scenes.i see katelyn and daria reading them,and i just keep thinking can i do that?or will i just suck?so second guessing is driving me insane.

tuesday's post

so blanche and mitch have their date.and you actually read that her husband was gay.i totally didnt get that part in the movie.but now i know.

mitch is so awkward.i feel like he wants blanche and he loves her or at least likes her,but she's so uptight and old fashioned she can't give him anything that he is dying for so he gets really awkward and just unconfortable.

blanche isn't too confortable about mitch either.she's like there but not truely interested.she's just there for the attention i think.which is so bad for mitch because he deserves someone special and someone to love him.but blanche is just toying with him.

i love when mitch asks blanche how old she is and how much she weighs.because those are blanche's weak points.the only tributes she really has for herself is her figure and her secret age.and of course she skates around the questions,but they shake her cage a bit.she's pushed off her position of power with mitch.mitch is chasing after her,and she knows it.she holds the power,he is below her in society so she can toy and play with him.when he asks those questions she looses some of her edge,because if he finds out about her age or how much she cares for her apperance,he holds a secret that can wreck her self esteem.and she doesn't want that at all.

but blanche still looses even more of her edge by talking about her ex-husband.thats something she is obviously torn over her love and her discust of her husband.and by telling mitch she's really letting part of herself go with him.

tuesday's participation

pg-100
well today i did kinda understand exitensalism.like i started to grasp it before we went over it,kinda.in my own way i think i got it.and i just started to grasp it more when we actually went over it.and i made up my blogs today.and i knew i was missing two of them!stupid or not i just like to get the grade i'm supposed to.so yeah.100 for honestly.

monday and tuesday's make up posts

monday's

so since were almost done with the movie,i'm now re-reading or like experiencing the play.when i saw the movie and heard blanche talking about stanley i almost agreed because he deserved someone stading up to him and getting angry for hurting stella.but when i read blanche's word and understood them,i think she was so wrong.stanley was a jerk and shouldn't have hit stella,drunk as hell or not, you just dont do that to a)a woman b)your WIFE and c)a pregnant wife at that.

but blanche is building such a class division between themselves and stanley.and yes the class division is obvious between blache and stanley but not between stanely and stella.blanche can't just be happy for her sister's happiness?no,she has to royally insult stanley.trat him as if he is dirt on the floor while she and stella are gold from god or something!

stella basically gave up her life and made one away from her old family.she's not blanche who is still trying to be that high society girl,but has no means to get there.its like pygmalion or cherry orchard.there is the classical life and teachings but when they can't maintain their old life style,they can either try and fail to stay upper class or can accept and down-grade.

i love how you read none of stanley's anger.he even toys with blanche and smiles when stella comes to hug him.its like he's just saying "well you may think that,but look who's got the girl?"

tuesday's

so stanley learns about blanche more and more.i forgot if we got to the point in the movie when they explain the hotel flamingo?i dont understand why thats such a big deal to blanche.is it just a place of like bad buisness or is it like a prostitution place?i just dont understand why stanley asked blanche about it.

and the whole part with blanche and the boy.it seems way creepier reading it.the way the boy is discribed its like he doesnt want her to kiss him,and he wants to leave and it just feels like a creepy older lady hitting on a really young like 20 year old.in the movie i thought i was a dream at first,it just seemsed that weird that the young man would want blanche.and i guess thats just a directorial choice and a writing choice.

that part just gives me the chills.blanche is so caught up in thinking she can get these young men and that she isnt her age,its just so crazy how she doesnt see that shes old and its time for her to grow up.

and i feel that stella is so minor in this play.she just feels like the character that helps move everything along and connects blanche and stanleys completely polar personalities so blanche's past can be unravelled.i'm just waiting for her to have a moment,and it hasn't come yet.

participation

pg-100

so today we watched streetcar.and i'm mad that i was behind in the reading in comparison to the movie.so now i know what happens but oh well i can start my comparison sooner now.i'm really enjoying the reading and the movie.

participation

pg-100

so today felt really ok.i guess.i mean,i had fun with it.and i felt ok with it.but its just i felt like i kinda did something wrong...but i have no idea what!i just don't know.maybe i was blocking people out,or i wasn't repeating well or i'm not sure.but i had fun so yay!

streetcar named desire day 2

wednesday's post because i procrastinate.

so after seeing the movie,its shocking how simliar they are!its like word for word,the EXACT same.

i feel like stanley is so much meaner on paper.like he's so much more rude and mean to his wife.like its more understandable that he has the ability to hit her later.and i get how he's so illiterate.its funny how he focuses on the napoleonic code and how he has friends who can help him with everything.he just constantly brings it up the same points over and over.does he do this through the whole play?or just when he argues?

blanche is really weird.i feel like she's ditsy with demonds.she acts all stupid and high strung and what not,but underneath something is just dying to come out.she just blows everything off like its nothing important.like fighting with stanley,she just doesn't really seem to care about what happened moments ago she just laughs it off.

i want to hear more about stella.like i want to learn about what she thinks of her husband and sister acting the way they are.and if she'll find out about what happened to blanche's husband.
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thursday's post.

so now i'm at the same point we left off in the movie.

mitch and blanche i'm excited for.i know it sounds really cliche and stupid but they seem cute together,or like they would be cute together.blancche needs that attention from a guy and mitch is the kind of push-over ish type of guy that will more than gladly give it to her in a heartbeat.their a perfect pair.

as for stella and stanley...well.
it seems way more scary and terrifying almost reading it and picturing it on stage than in the movie.just the way a director could make this scene work out could be really interesting and powerful in my mind at least.and then the "STEEELLLLAAA" scene afterward could be really beautiful the way it was discribed or directed.

i want to move on in the play and movie now!i want to know what else happens.like i feel like this play is a bit easier to get than some of the other plays we've read.just because everything seems more real and relateable.

pg-100
well i did participate today in class.i understand what i have ti think about for my monolgue now.and im really sorry for being kind of out of it today in class.but i'll try better next week to stay focused.this has been kinda a bad week for me.thats why i'm making up journals at 11:57 at night,when these are due at 12.but anyway,theres always next week!

day 1 of streetcar named desire.

tuesday's post.

well a streetcar named desire.can i just say i love that title?the movie and the text are the exact same,the only difference being that stella comes home to see blanche rather than blanche seeing stella at the bowling alley.

and i feel like blanche's "speech" to her sister about how they lost Belle Reve was way harsher in the actual play as apposed to the movie.maybe it was an actor choice,but i feel like movie blanche laughed off alot of the secret insults she said to her sister.and in the play she just says them without a care for her sister.its really hurtful when you actually read the things she said in front of her sister and how most of them were just sly comments because those often do the most damage on a person,i felt so bad for stella after that.

and i feel like stanley is portayed more as the mean and abusive husband in the play than the movie.when he walked in stella cleaned herself up and said yes stanley.as soon as he got home!it was just a difference i noticed.and the description of stanley is beautiful.its just so strait forward about him.thats a mega props to tennessee williams.i just loved reading it.

i want to know what happened to blanche's husband already!it bothers me so much that she is so tramatized by it,but they haven't said what happened exactly,in the movie or the play.

so that would be the end of scene 1.

participation

pg-100
well today we worked with francesca again.and i had another shot at my monolgue.which went well i think.i like trying new things with it.because i was starting to feel a untill it flittle one note.so have more ways to work with it.more options to try untill it feels the best.

participation

pg-100
so i deserve a 100 because i move platforms like a beast.i hd like super human strength.i got so many splinters its insane.and i figured out how to fit more platforms in to the trailer.go platforn team!

monologues

so no more reading.now we go into acting experiences.

so i did my monologue today.and i wanted to try something different.the first line of my monologue has always felt odd with me.anytime it always feels off or there was a better way to start off my monologue.so i've been thinking about other ways to deliver it.

today,instead of starting off calm and building my anger up,i wanted to try just being pissed,and i wanted to see if it would lead anywhere else besides how its been going.i guess my choice kind of failed,because everyone said i should have built it up more or reined in my emotions more.and i agree, and now its just another path to try.maybe being calm through out might help me get a better hold on my character or my emotions with it.

hopnestly once i made my choice it seemed a little weird and unnatural and i didnt regret it but it just didnt work out.and all i really wanted was feedback on my chance.

so i guess today was one of my low days with my monologue.i'm happy with my progress and i'm happy that i'm thinking about my options to work on it.so one bad run is not the end of the world.now i just know that one idea didnt work.a million more ways to go!

and what do you think about a different monologue for me?i like mine,yes,but some people have said that its not the greatest of fits and that i dont have the power toward the end that "they" think i should.that i'm a bit more passive then i should be.and i'm just now thinking about it and i guess some doubt is creeping in to my mind...i'm just unsure.and regardless if i keep my monologue or not,i kind of want to look into new material i guess.i mean i know i'm a freshman,but i want to prepare more stuff.so what would be your opinion on that?

pg-100
so today i tried something new with my monologue.i'm expanding on my monologue i guess.plus i did offer to go today.so i deserve a 100 for having balls today.