the good person of szechwan

ok. so i was not expecting the play to take place in china.so that shocked me.i kinda understand the idea of the gods.but i don't understand wang;s purpose.like why is he the only one who believes in the gods coming,he's the only one why waited for them.everyone else turned him away and didn't give the gods a passing glance.wang was the only one who cared?well and shen teh.but she's convinced almost by wang about the gods.

so some questions...
why are the gods there?
why are they making a big deal about "good" people?
why do they need a place to stay?
did the gods destroy the other cities they talk about?because of not finding "good" people?
why are they hesitant about giving shen teh money?

i just am really unsure whats going to happen in this play.the gods are worring me for some reason.they seem a bit off.like bad or evil in some way.because no one really cares about them,so are they even real gods?or just like figments of imagination?

this is a really long play.i have a feeling i'm going to be confused alot.i really don't know what to think about this play yet.does it have alot to do with the gods?like believing in them or something or is it about right and wrong?we shall see.

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so i'm very excited about my A in theatre.thank you participation and journal entries.today i paid attention in class.i argued with mrs.harvey about hyperbolic doubt!i take pride in that.and i think its participating,kinda.i started reading the good person of szechwan.and most of all SUPER CONGRATS ON YOUR TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=]!!!

house of bernarda alba

monday's post

i'm really enjoying this play so far.but i'm confused as to what it "means" i guess.like what is the point of this play besides a love story gone wrong?i don't want to "trash" it but i really dont understand what is important about it besides entertainment.i get that all the girls are stuck in the house and their mother is strict and that drives the girls so a breaking point.they're all sick of each other and they are interested in any guy that comes along,despite the fact that one sister is already after him.they all know whats happening amongst themselves but no one does anything because they're family i guess.but at this point they're not family.they're just women who have grown disconneced because of they're physical closeness.thfamily aspect isn't there anymore between any of them.

well maybe that's the purpose...

is that family doesn't always remain in tact like you'd want it to.physical closeness doesn't equal family togetherness.its the seeing other people and doing other things that make you want to stay with your family,brings on family togetherness.

bernarda i think by trying to keep her girls and strengthen the family is actually demolishing it.you can't force a family to become a family.you can control the family when things get out of hand but you have to let the family grow on it's own.

poncia understands this and by butting head with bernarda and trying to get her to see the better way,bernarda's strong personality comes in and does the opposite because of her morals and to prove poncia wrong.

i think there is also something to be said about the love aspect of this play.besides just killing the family aspect bernarda kills the girls's sense of friends and love.what ever comes they just take it,withoout seeing what else the world has to offer.if one man comes into the life of the family even if its for one girl they all consume the man becuase they are so used to the woman inflection that the male inflection is dry and they all full up on one.detroying themselves as sisters in the process.
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tuesday's post.

so poncia basically backs up my whole analysis from yesterday.she and the servant say that the women go crazy over one man because they have none.and that blood means nothing to the girls because they need that "man" figure in their lives.

adela is really interesting.she's so desperate for pepe even when he's with her sister,that she will do anything to be with him.she even says she will be what ever he wants and she will be his mistriss and only he comands her.

but what i want to know is,was she pregnant before or did her and pepe just have sex in the third act?because they say she slept in the bed of a bad woman so that could mean either,but if she looked like she just came away from pepe,she was never pregnant and i don't understand then why she was so upset about the other girls baby dying.or if she was pregnant why did she have straw on her skirts now?

either way she didn't die a virgin like bernarda said.clearly she wanted to be in control of her daughters and even up to that point.up until they were loosing they're virginity,she had to control them.

but in the end pepe runs away after bernarda tried to kill him.but really none of this is his fault.the way lorca describes him,he's kinda un controlable,so why expect him to stick to one girl?and if they throw themselves at him would any man stop them?well you can say he SHOULD have controlled himself,and yes that is true,so some blame does rest on him.but!without bernarda starving the girls from a life outside of her clutches,they wouldn't scramble over the one man in their lives.and bernarda wouldn't have lost her daughter,and her daughter's innocence to him.plus angustias might have married and martirio would not be caught in a rage of jealousy.

and that would be the end.

pg-100
sat prep scared the living crap out of me.i wanted to try for the 1400's but i know there is no way i can ever do it.i'm not being negitive i'm being realistic abou tmy strengths here.i'm not a good stress person.sat's are super super stressful.i mean i was getting pissed at 10 practice questions that weren't even graded it was just an idea of what is to come.i'm afraid that the sat's will just drive me insane.i would have loved to have the balls to say yes i will get a 1400,and if i dont i will put up with the "humiliation",but i just couln't make the comitment.but i did try really hard with the practice questions today.as much as i freaked unnessesarily.i tried still!

participation

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today i paid attention during the movie.and i really disagree when you said the audiance wants higgins and eliza together.maybe its becuase we were almost "brought up" to think otherwise,but i seriously didn't want them to end up together.eliza is too good for higgins.i really understand mr.doolittle now.and i particiapted in our discusion after the movie.

bernarda alba day 3

adela is so pregnant and i'm pretty sure its pepe's baby.when she was upset about librada's daughter getting killed over her baby,she cluched her stomach.thats the eternal sign of mother-hood.and for lorca to write it in to the play oviously means its a symbol,or a sign that says "hey this action means something inportant later!!!!!"

but martirio stole the picture of pepe,so she likes him too.so you have adela pregnant with pepe,angustias engaged to pepe,and martirio in love with pepe.when is pepe ever goin to talk?or is he just talked about the whole time?

its really interesting that this whole play so far is just women.and they have bernarda in absolute power over all the characters besides pepe.she's almost evil but i can understand her controling ways,she loves her girls and doesn't want that empty nest.and i think she has some internal or even subconsious hatred of men from some point in her past that really comes out to protect her daughters.its out of love and care,but she pushes that love and care until its almost hysteria.i mean angustias hasn't had a boyfriend even untill she's nearing 40!

and la poncia is interseting too.she's had bad experiance with women in her life,and i think her calm about men and dating and everything is a reverse affect of women from her life.instead of hating and despising women,she loves men.she prefers them to women.and she doesn't hate women in the process because she is one herself and she understands that she can't hate what she is.

pepe almost reminds me of rosealie i think it was, from romeo and juilet.she was always in the plot or a part of it,but she was never seen or spoke in the entire story.she's just like a constant figment.and thats what pepe is.a figment that everyone is after because not only is he the girls ticket to freedom from their mother,but he's hot!he's like the idea of freedom or fame,always in your mind but never physical in front of you.

and i finished act 2.so only one act left.

pg-100
today we watched more of my fair lady.and i still like it.it never really changed for me.i mean i'm not one to laugh out loud for small witty humor,so it may not look like i enjoy the movie but i really do.and i'm understanding the father so much better after today.i was so confused at first by his additude.but i get it now.and i see the difference in the movie end and shaw's end already.the second the party scene began i felt that change and i really didn't like it.even when eliza was dancing around i felt the difference.i mean shaw didn't write a musical and the progress of eliza's training into the play but that still made sense with the original.now this ending is just KILLING it...and i dislike it.

house of bernarda alba from tuesday and wednesday.

tuesday.



so these sisters are so catty!like i really want to say,they're family and they shouldn't be like that.but i feel like they're just playing around and joking with they're little sister.but at the same time i want to kind of say,they're not.they really are this catty and bitchy and almost rude to each other.and i hate to see that in families.



so is adela being a little backstabber and cheating with her sisters fionce?i think so.she's edgy and tepermental and tired...so maybe she's with pepe.because magdalena makes alot of sense when she says pepe shouldn't like angustina.being almost 10-15 years apart,why would a man willingly want to marry an old lady for any reason besides money?what else would there be?especially that they've never met before and augustina's mother keeps her on an extremely tight leesh.



and i want to know why that is!why is bernarda so attached to her daughters?poncia makes a really good crack at the girls saying their house is like a convent,because really those girls even say the word man and their mother comes running in.why can't the girls just leave??they're all old enough to live on their own and there is now way they're happy there.i dont care if you live with your mothjer and grandmother and sisters and what not,being a girl denied men for that long your going to want to leave.and if your grandmother is half insane,you rmother is over bearing and controlling,your going to want to leave even more so i don't understand why these girls dont grow some back bone,leave,get a guy,and go!live your life free as a bird!just go for it already.



i am having an issue with the girl's names.they're all spanish-y and different and complicated.i can't remember who is who.and the age order either because i think thats going to be important in the text at some point.

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wednesday.



so i moved along in act 2 and i'm almost done with that.so adela is being the little back stabber,but now poncia is "in" on the secret.its because she's smart and she's learned about men and relationships before.



i feel bad for all the sisters though.they're clearly jealous and i know how they feel.both my sister do everything first and you get that jealous feeling for your family or even your friends who are doing better than you,but you have to support them some how because your close to them.



i really feel bad for angustias.because if she ever finds out about her sister all hell will break loose.because its her sister and her fionce.how can you forgive them,those people so close to you,just going behind your back like that?



i realloy want to talk about class thoday though.

as soon as i left.i basically broke out into tears.i really thought about it and i have i feel like i have no other option if theatre doesn't work out for something!i'm not smart.i'm a good student.being a good student doesn't give you a job.i've never felt good at anything besides performing.besides being in the theatre.but i'm terrified that i won't be good at it anymore and then i have nothing else to do.i'm not the greastes dancer,i love doing it and thats why i do,i'm decent.so i have no real career in that.i used to feel good with acting,and ever since this school year i've felt confertable with it.now i'm feeling shaken i'm feeling challenged.i like how i'm learning and i feel like i want to make this my lifestlye!i just don't know what to say when on one side i have this love for it,but on the other i have this self doubt that says how will i make this into a career?then i think how do i think about that as a 14 year old?how do i think about my whole career now??how many other kids do that?now??i'm just so scared.that i wont be enough.talented,smart,confident.everything!i'm just really scared and today really made me realise that.



pg-100

well after i poured my heart out to a computer screen.i read bernarda alba.for tuesday and wednesday.i also took some notes about my fair lady from today.and i did pay attention to the movie.

participation

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today i helped teach the dancers how to lift macenite,i attempted to lift the orcastra pit cover thing-y...and failed.i helped lift macenite with arlie my new dance friend,and i also attempted to place some specialty pieces with kelsey and john.didn't do the greatest job,but hey its the thought that counts right?

bernarda alba day 2

so... we get introduced to all the daughters or most of them at least.i don't get why bernarda is so over protective,like one girl got in trouble for listening to the men's conversation?why is that such a big deal?

and what were the men talking about?the paca la roseta?is that like the town girl who just goes to any man that wants her?and clearly thats not accepted by anyone really.

and why do none of the girls have men in there life,i mean i understand their dad just died,but seriously,no boyfriends no sueters,no men at all?how is that possible?i mean their rich according to the text,maybe not the richest possible,but they have money it seems,so why wouldn't men,even the shallow ones!,atleast give them a shot?

it seems like the girls want men,they want to be married,but their mother is holding them back.and why is thta?she was married,why can't her daughters have that same option.

so again.i'm seriously stuck on what to write about.just nothing is happening that i can write about!and its annoying how my blog is so short.but i just dont know what to say here.

but wait we watch my fair lady tomorrow!maybe i'll understand the end of pygmalion now.because i'm sure were going to compare the two,if we get to the end of the movie.i'm just so confused about higgins and eliza's like nding relationship.i think i understand it,but a part of me is doubting that i do.so we will see what happens.

pg-100
so i participated in the expanding and contracting today.skinned my elbow.but its just another theatre scar.i didn't understand the "fake it till you make it" aspect of the exercise.i mean i got the justification i think,thats easier than faking it,because the faking seems soooooooooooooo fake and it annoys me that it feels so stupid fake and pointless.but i participated so yay!

(thursday's post/friday's participation)house of bernarda alba day 1

so bernarda alba.it starts off with the servents kind of trash talking how bernarda treats them,like dogs basically.how all they do is work and work,get next to no food,and no appriciation for it.

eventually they start to talk about antonio maria benvides,and alot of women in black enter,so i'm going to infer that he died and they just returned from a funeral.

then i'm also going to guess that the girls and women that they were refering to,but never gave names for are bernarda's family or her daughters,she does call one name so i'm going to guess that its one of her five daughters.

i'm really unsure what to write about here,i mean i think i'm still on that platform point if i had a plot chart thing...like i hate writing about the beginings of plays because i feel like there never is much to write about.but i'm not sure yet with this play.i do like the title,because in the norton they have a little conotation that says "a drama about the women in the villages in spain" so that sounds interesting and judging by the character list i'm going to guess that it centers around bernarda's generations,her daughters and her mother.so with women in generations there is always drama,plus with 5 kids ages 20-39,you just kinda know that there will be drama.and with a grandmother there,i'm going to guess that she'll want the "old ways" back and will lecture her uncaring granddaughters about them.while bernarda will also lecture her daughters about something different.

i'm not making fun of the play,i'm excited to read it.i'm just saying that you can almost tell what will happen just by that.

pg-100
today,we did open scenes!yay...well i practice me and lexii were the first group to demonstate,and i feel that we worked really well in practice.we both were really excited for the scenes.i felt that it could have gone a bit better though.like more expanding and contracting,physically at least.i mean weve had far better practices.but i dont want to compare it.what's done is done.

thursday's participation

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today we worked again on our scenes.after a bit of explanation from katelin,i got the hang of it.the scene is going well,and tomorrow we will see how it goes!plus today i saw the dance show which was absolutely amazing!i loveeeed it!!!!!can't wait for the next show now.

wednesday's pygmalion

and the end of act 5.

so mr.doolittle gets married.and the characters are kind of ending their journey together and they have to figure out where they will go.

mr.doolittle is getting married to eliza's stepmom.pickering is being his respectful self and he's trying to coax eliza back into returning to him and higgins,instead of her dad.but he was mainly content with his life in the begining,so he doesn't have a like a major life change.

eliza and higgins have a bonding moment at the end.higgins and eliza just talk out what happened,and whether or not eliza will return to the house.and eliza gets mad at him for treating her the way he does.higgins wants her back,as much as he denies it,as much as he pokes fun at her,and doesn't really care,he does.he likes eliza and i feel like she's a good match for him,she has smarts,emotions,but a bit of a hard skin that can withstand most of higgins's jabs.but higgins isn't a match for eliza.higgins doesn't see that what he says hurts eliza,she has a hrad skin but that because higgins and pickering have taught her to keep that inside,and while she can hold it in,it hurts deep down.she can but she shouldn't.

eliza and higgins change here.higgins becomes the little romantic and shows his heart,where as eliza has that edge,and additude that higgins deserves from her.she even tells him she won't be happy with him,and she will have a life seperated from him.higgins just continues to push her around,trying to convince her that he is better than anything she can get.and she walks away,not doing another thing for higgins.

pg-100
today i worked hard in class with luis.lexii and i were constantly trying in class,whether we were good or not.we tried.i had my blacks today,i participated in the exersises.i had my lines down.kinda.but i'm trying.and i'll get them.

monday and tuesday's posts.

monday's post

i feel so bad for eliza here.she just feels so down after higgins beats her up and she just sits silently.what ever happened to that additude she had,the little bit of kick that her flower girl side had?but i totally understand where she'es coming from.she's figuring out that being this lady will not last forever,that at some point she'll have to leave the house and go and find a place in the world.but after being this super refined girl for so long,how will she have the abbility to continue that on her own?what will happen to her?she can't go back to her old life and expect to be treated the same,she's a completely different person.and she can't just jump into upper class society because there will be no way to sustane herself.she's unmarried,unemployed,uneducated,but refined.how do you fit into society like that?

and higgins!he just tosses her aside like she's nothing,like she's just a little toy.she sits infront of higgns and piclering and they talk as if she's not there or can't hear a word they say.he blames it on anxioty and low spirits.he doesn't care for her own personal being,but if she has a pretty face,she's ok!

but at the end of act 4 what is higgins feeling?does he not want eliza to leave so he's insulted and hurt that she would want to?and is eliza happy to see him this way,because at the very end she almost teses him,is that out of spite or pure humor?i'm so confused with them two.does higgns like her now is that what i'm missing?has he loved her this whole time and it just flew over my head?

clearly eliza is coming out of her fantasy world with higgins and pickering,so she's trying to decide what she can have to start her new life with,and higgins takes offense to that?the fact that she's almost ready to "leave the nest"?wasn't it just a challege for him in the first place?or was this whole thing a big fake cover up about how he really feels?

i'm missing something huge here.i feel very stupid...
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tuesday's post.

so eliza's gone off.higgins is freaking out,and everyone else is very calm about the situation.

and eliza's father has returned!but why i'm not entirely sure.he is dressed nicely now he looks very respectable,he's not the poor dustman we saw before,but why is what i don't get.higgins told someone that he is a original moralist?and they gave him money in his will?i'm not really sure about that.but the idea is now he has money.

one thing that i love is that he says higgins,by getting him money,has ruined him.at first i was like why?and then i thought about it and i like what he's saying,that money changes people,becoming an upperclass changes you.and that he doesn't want to change at all he liked where he was in society,in his head,in his heart,in his life in general.he was content.but throw a bunch of money in there and you have a whole new man that isn't who doolittle is.that being a gentalmen brings on more problems then not being one,that he's going to now have to deal with beggers and people trying to take his money.

money can't buy you happiness.he was a happier man when all he had to worry about was himself.now he has all this money that he thinks people will be after,and now he has them to worry about.

and thank you mrs.higgins for shinning some light on what higgins and pickering have done this whole time!eliza did well and to just be completly ignored and cast aside infront of her,is so rude and cruel.especially to someone who is as vonerable as her.and higins and pickering deny it!how is that possible!like its so frustrating!

but eliza throws it right back in there faces,she is the cool calm collectiveness that higgins is not and it makes him look stupid.and pickering is also very respectable.while higgins just continues to make an ass out of himself.

i'm almost done with act 5,hopefully tomorrow wil be my last day with pygmalion.

pg-100
today i worked with lexii on our open scene.dan taught us about justification and its really coming together.i actually memorized my lines(for some reason that was the hardest thing about the open scene.i really dont get why...)and i'm working on the acting.so we'll see how the scene ends up.

pygmalion day 5 and 6

so eliza's first public outing.did it go ok?i had mixed reactions to the characters reactions.i felt like they liked eliza,but they were confused by her.i feel like higgins taught her the accent but didnt teach her the speech.like teaching a language just with vocab,but not teaching them how to speak in sentances.

i like freddy,i really hope something happens between him and eliza.because i feel like he needs something positive.but i also feel like eliza's going to hold her head high and take the single route.because she seems to be the independent woman type.thats why i dont want her with higgins,even if it doesn't happen,i would never want them together.because i feel that higgins would destroy eliza,and make her a boring housewife rather thatn her out going,"poor" self.

clara's interesting too.you can totally tell she was some what interested in higgins.but she felt threataned by eliza.because thats the first thought for that time.

i thought it was interesting how pickering acted like he didnt know eliza.but then higgins ruined it by blurting out how he knew the hills and freddy.i wanted to say he's being stupid because they're totally going to remember eliza.even mrs.hill said she knew her eyes,and i think freddy definatly remembered her.

absolute favorite part of this part.the way eliza speaks becomes a new way to talk!clara wants to talk like her.and i think its just about having balls to say what you want.like eliza does,and higgins just wanted to cover up her mistake.but now its a new fashion!
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so moving on.

i feel like after eliza's first outing, higgins is starting to care about her.he says he dislikes teaching her,but i feel like he's becoming fond of her.he even says how he likes her because she can remember his appointments,he's almost realising she's not just this little project he has to work on,but that she's a human and she has feelings,plus she is useful besides being the men's science project.she can make a life for herself.

its shocking to see how much eliza is improving.higgins and pickering both raved about her to mrs.higgins.she can do things that took higgins years to master.i feel that its her drive,because she needs this to make a better life.higgins was well off and followed his dream,eliza didn't have that silver spoon when she began.higgins always had that so if the speech didnt work out,he had something to fall back on,plus he was educated!so he could do anything.eliza lived on the streets forever,and has nothing good to fall back on.

mrs.higgins point makes alot of sense and backs up what i think.eliza can be passed off as a refind woman,but she isn't one.she will always be that girl from the streets,and she wont have the oppertunities,that her personality should have.it's almost unfair.

but the men just blow it off,because what do they have to worry about?nothing,they have lives outside of eliza,eliza has nothing outside of what she learns from them.

pg-100
today i took good notes about the lights,and i participated in our class discussion.i came prepared for tech,even though we didn't really tech,but still i was ready for it.plus i blogged for tonight and yesterday.

pg-100

today being one of four generalists,i helped out with tech.i made some light gells.and i helped dan move and find all the s4's.which included going on the catwalk!!which was very fun.i got to undo 2 lights from there.and i learned how to take them down from the catwalk properly.over all i like tech days.

pygmalion day 4

i love the realistic discriptions in the set designs.even with the characters.because they say land marks and artist types and EVERYTHING.it shocks me how much you hear about london and england just by the footnotes.i just feel like it shows how much shaw cared about the reader knowing what's going on.but it could also be because of higgin's job.he has to know where things are from,especially for the reader's sake and dialogue.

i find it funny how everyone's assumsion of eliza is that her and higgns are in love or a relationship or something romantic.even shaw,when he didnt want anything to happen to them,he puts it in the character's mind.which in turn will put it in the audiance's mind.

its interesting to see how the characters(freddy,the rich mother and daughter)come back,only for higgins to see that they know eliza and him from the day they all met.like finding out some random person you saw on the street is your mother's closest friend.

and how does freddy speak?he says ahdedo as how do you do.does he have a cockney accent too?or something similair?or is he just talking that way to be funny or polite?

i love higgins idea of honesty."what they think they ought to think is bad enough..but what they really think would break up the whole show"then he goes on to say how his true thoughts are too rude basically for the conversation.i would think,seeing how he blurts everything else out like he doesn't care,it wouldn't be too rude.i like his ideals about honest talking.and i really agree.were polite about things we feel we should say,but is that what we really want to say?most likely not.

but after that small ordeal,eliza comes for her first "test".

pg-100
today i helped fix the orcastra pit with was being the bigest pain in the but,ever.we never really fixed it.it still sticks up about half an inch.at several points i just wantd to jump on it and force it down.thats how annoying it was.and i painted!that was fun,kinda.i got paint on my ands,feet,and knees somehow.but i really like teching.because i feel like talent isn't really an issue,its kinda your brain when your just doing things like painting,i mean it oviously takes talent for designing any part of tech,but as a worker,your brain helpss you more than talent.