monday's post

it feels like FOREVER since i've blogged. like i couldn't even tell you why. senior showcase of course,but that was like a week before this right? im not sure,but its back to blogging as usual.

today was MONOLOGUE DAYYYYY. i have to thank katelyn covington for even reminding me of monologues. i had no idea we had them. even though it was in my planner, i haven't looked at that in god knows how long. and with read through and senior showcase to worry about, it slipped my mind just a bit.

but i was prepared as i thought i could be. i was dressed, i paid attention to everyone's monologue, and i was the last to go. which is slightly scary because its usually the one that everyone remembers the most, but i was honestly not thinking about that. i was thinking more about trying to find my place,and if i couldn't i was going to try my best to replicate my monologue with chelsea and casey. yeah, i know we're not supposed to replicate or re-do that we have to react, but i felt like it as either suck alot or suck slightly less because i know what i'm doing. so i tried to really focus on putting someone there. like anyone there to talk to. toward the send there was a loose picture in my mind on who i was talking to (i ended up not mentally replicating) but i see what you mean about me clicking into my monologue to late. i feel like i go in unsure,but after awhile i step into character and everything,and it gets noticeably better.

i got 8th place from the top. just shy of the first half. so not nearly as bad as i thought. i'm actually happy,because i know that it doesn't count for as much for me as it does an actor. i have to widen my foot print. its always been an issue! my dance teacher has said the same thing; im very closed up with my stance. personally, i think it's a tall people thing. or a family thing,because i noticed that my dad does the same thing, he shrinks in on his stance. personally again, it makes me feel smaller, and i love feeling smaller, another tall people thing. BUT i think its an easy thing to correct for me. it'll feel awkward at first but i'll move on.

the freaking pacing and moving!!! it drives even me insane. i hate that i do it, and im not sure why i do. maybe i think it gets too boring when i just stand? i have no idea. or its the tension. i feel loose. but i guess im not. maybe i can't see it on me,or i dont know what to look for. but i just don't get how you see tension, i alwyas thought it was like stiffness like sore muscles, but i warmed up,so i shouldnt be stiff...

i'm sticking to tech. acting just drives me crazy,because i can't wrap my head around how to act and be yourself but a character at the same time.it just baffles me.

pg-100
after my babbling...today i deserve a 100 for dressing what i thought was properly,for an audition. i tried to approch the audition as possitivly as a pessimist can, and hoped for the best. i ended up 8th from the top, which was a shock to me atleast. yay for the middle! i'm really going to try my best to use my feedback nect time we have monologues or do any sort of acting. though now im seriously considering som sort of techincal major over an acting major.