monday’s post

so today was day two with shawn and elisa. first of all. its great to be with shawn, but sometimes i wish he would tell us exactly whats going on. today one second he was talking about coming into the space,and the next he was walking to the wing,coming back and telling us about some sports team. i really wanted to ask,wait what just happened? and then he told kelsey and fernando to do the same thing. i just didnt understand what he wanted them to do. or what he was doing.

but after that we did some movement. coming into the space and just moving. shawn and elisa both went,and the contrast between the two was almost laughable. elisa was soft,slow,and small. shawn was jumping around and spazing out and sort of sighing but loudly. i thought he was going to start screaming,and i was seriously bracing myself for it. but he didn’t.

after they both went, he let us go. lexii and i got picked. i was really excited and happy to go. lexii’s movement went first. i saw alot of testing of her limits with her body. and just seeing what she could do in the space.

then i got to try. at first i had some inner monologue going on, and i was kind of saying what should i do? and i started just doing things i was comfortable,trying to become aware of my body. and after getting used to it i could feel my head start over thinking. and i wanted to say “STOP OVER THINKING” so my body kind of said it for me. i just shook all my thoughts loose and then just went with it. i started just making noise with the floor, with my hands, seeing what changed if i made noise a different way. and just felt very relaxed and stopped thinking about what i was doing. i just played and had fun up there. one moment i remember the most; i was looking at the lights,and then looking away they burn was still in my eye, anywhere i looked. and i saw it,and wanted to catch it. that was all i wanted. i really just had fun and played during my movement!!

pg-100

today i tried my best to understand what shawn wanted us to see. i really focused and tried to understand what he meant about seeing the space with new eyes. i got a chance to do some movement and i felt it was one of the “real-est” times i’ve ever had on the stage. and i think i’m slowly seeing how to stop thinking and relax on stage.