thursday's post

so today we talked about the fdu workshop a bit. then more about college and we talked a LOT about the "clean up" part of college.how they'll fix you up and make you super presentable. which is both exciting and terrifying.

i just dont know about college and sats and everything about it. i dont know what to think of it. i just get super negative about sats. going to get low scores because i know i'll underestimate the test, then that means no college. but by some miracle i get decent scores, then its applying,essays,scholorships,financial aid,actually being part of the 10% they pick from,then actually getting picked. then hopefully surviving 4 years of bfa in ANYTHING classes. then some how trying to make it. make money,get a job. do something with your life. in a buisness where 90% is unemployed, and you make next to nothing for doing a shit load of work.

the future.fucking.scares.me. i dont want to get into the hard parts. i want it to be easy. because how can anyone deal with all this crap? how does anyone do anything ever? you have to be a fucking genious,talented,street smart,and be likeable. i just dont feel like i can handle all of this during and after high school. i understand its not easy,but i dont even think i can handle the difficulty of all of it. but this is what i want to be doing. i just hate talks about the future. i want to go nowhere and work at mcdonalds forever.make it easy on myself.

call me negative or whatever, its just relaistic.
well, after spilling my soul, we cleaned urine town today.i sorted through plates cups and other crap like that with john. we found 2 dead rats. it was pretty nasty.

pg-100

today i participated in our discussion on fdu's workshop yesterday.i participated in our discussion about college. i was prepared to finish the read through, even though we didnt get to finish. we cleaned urine town. i wrapped glass cups and stuff with john,sorting through all the kitchen stuff. i also learned that you're not supposed to wrap props up,becuase then you cant tell what they are.