Monday, August 19, 2013

White Shirt - Play 12/31

White shirt
By Michelle Lane
(I should mention this is a continuation of another play, So About Mom )

MARY stands at a kitchen sink trying to get a wine stain off her white shirt.
KATHLEEN enters.

KATHLEEN
Is everything okay?

                                                            MARY
Yes. I’m fine, just a little pinot!

                                                            KATHLEEN
Need any help?

                                                            MARY
Nope! I’m good Kathleen.

                                                            KATHLEEN
Alrighty then.

KATHLEEN exits for a moment. Then she returns a moment later.

KATHLEEN
Cousin Billy wants to know if we have more Coors?

                                                            MARY
There should be some out already.

                                                            KATHLEEN
Can’t find ‘em.

                                                            MARY
Check the fridge.

KATHLEEN checks the fridge, finds a six pack, and leaves again.
MARY finishes cleaning her shirt. She then begins to set up appetizers or something.
KATHLEEN enters again.

KATHLEEN
Mary? Do you want me to get you anything?
                                                           
MARY
No I’m fine. Go mingle. I’m sure everyone wants to say their condolences.

                                                            KATHLEEN
She was your mom too, everyone wants to know when you’ll come out.

                                                            MARY
I was out there a few minutes ago.

                                                            KATHLEEN
Let me do this. You go say hello to everyone.

                                                            MARY
No, I’m fine. You’re a guest in my house, there’s no need to help.

                                                            KATHLEEN
Mary please.

                                                            MARY
No Kathleen. It’s fine.

                                                            KATHLEEN
Mary…

                                                            MARY
I don’t want you fucking up again.

                                                            KATHLEEN
I’m sorry?

                                                            MARY
She died in your damn house Kathleen.

                                                            KATHLEEN
She took an extra sleeping pill!

                                                            MARY
You should’ve watched her!

                                                            KATHLEEN
How would I’ve known?

                                                            MARY
I would’ve known. You just wanted her to die. You were waiting for the day so you wouldn’t have to worry about her anymore. She was my mother Kathleen! My damn mother!

                                                            KATHLEEN
She was my mom too! You don’t think I wanted her alive? There was nothing wrong with her Mary! She wasn’t supposed to die! She had anxiety and mild depression. She’s had it since dad passed. People don’t die from anxiety.

                                                            MARY
They die from carelessness.

                                                            KATHLEEN
You wouldn’t have done any better. You think it was so easy. So simple; just change her clothes, help her bathe, feed her, give her a pill. It was doctors and therapists, late night talks, her almost tripping every night, she barely slept anymore, which means I sure didn’t. And now I can’t sleep because my own damn sister thinks I killed my mother.

                                                            MARY
I would’ve kept her alive, Kathleen. You wouldn’t have found her dead in my guest room.

                                                            KATHLEEN
I did the best that I could’ve done.

                                                            MARY
Well it wasn’t fucking good enough! I lost my mother! My kids lost their grandmother! She’s gone Kathleen, she’s gone.

MARY begins to cry. KATHLEEN hugs her.


THE END.  

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Here's a Box 11/31

Here’s a Box
By Michelle Lane

JEN sits in her room. It’s extremely cluttered and messy: basically there’s a lot of crap.

A STRAGE MAN enters the room.

MAN
This is Jen. She’s…

                                                            JEN
Who the fuck are you!

                                                            MAN
We’ll discuss that in a minute.
Jen is about to…

                                                            JEN
Why in the hell are you in here?

                                                            MAN
I’m about to go over that.
Jen is about to participate in an experiment

                                                            JEN
Like hell I am. MOM!

                                                            MAN
Your mom isn’t here right now Jen.

                                                            JEN
Of course she is, she’s down stairs. MOM! Why is there a man in my room!

JEN continues to cry out for her mom, her dad, her brother Henry, anyone, while the MAN speaks.
           
                                                            MAN
Your mother isn’t…forget it.
Jen is going to participate in an experiment. Everything she knows and owns is in this space. She has a few moments to put her “life” into this box.

                                                            The MAN produces a box. JEN stops screaming.

We’re going to give her roughly 3 minutes to complete this task. If she cannot complete the task,

Two security guard-looking men walk out and grab JEN—she screams again. The put a dog collar around her neck.

She will die.
This collar here will send out enough volts to stun Jen, then will shock again finally stopping her heart. It will be fast and painless, no need to worry about Jen, we hope she can figure it out.
Her time starts now.

The men leave, Jen begins to pack everything around her into the box. It clearly doesn’t all fit.

Why do this you may ask? Well the question should be, could you fit your life, everything you need to survive, purely survive into a box?

                                                            JEN
This is a trick. A sick, disgusting trick.

                                                            MAN
No, this is no trick. This is a battle of the mind over material. Do you need everything in your life? What is necessity, what is not. What do you feel helps you and what hurts you?

                                                            JEN
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know I don’t know I DON’T KNOW.

                                                            The MAN begins to leave.

Where are you going!

                                                            MAN
93 seconds…

                                                            MAN exits.

JEN begins to frantically pack more things into the box. 
JEN’s time runs out, she is shocked once by the collar.
Her mother’s voice is heard offstage.

MOTHER
JEN ARE YOU ALMOST DONE?

                                                            JEN gets up off the floor, collar gone.

                                                            MAN re-enters, JEN doesn’t see him.

                                                            MAN
What would you bring?


                                                            THE END

Am I Going To Hell Yet? Day 10/31

Am I Going To Hell Yet?
By Michelle Lane

A Catholic Nun SISTER THOMAS sits behind a desk. Its very dark on stage. A student WILLIAM sits at a separate desk writing something.

JESUS enters.

JESUS
Good evening my children.

                                                            They don’t hear him.

                                                            JESUS
Disciples of the Lord! It is I your holy savior!

                                                            Neither hears him.
A great light show happens, fireworks and smoke and shining beacons of white light surround JESUS.

JESUS
I have come to save you my followers! Take my hands and I will lead you to Heaven!

                                                            WILLIAM’s FATHER walks in

                                                            FATHER
William. Lets go.
Hello Sister.

                                                            SISTER THOMAS
Hello Mister…Jones was it?

                                                            WILLIAM begins to gather his things.

                                                            FATHER
Smith. Easy to mix them up.

                                                            JESUS
My child! Please take my hand so you too may be saved!

                                                            WILLIAM
Good night Sister Thomas.

                                                            SISTER THOMAS
I don’t want to see you here any more William.

                                                            WILLIAM
I’m sorry Sister.

                                                            NUN
Pray for forgiveness tonight, and please try to be nicer to the other students.

                                                            FATHER
Good night Sister, thank you for watching him.

                                                            WILLIAM and his FATHER leave.
SISTER THOMAS begins to pack up her things as well.
                                                           
                                                            JESUS
Please! Wait! I want to save you! Come with me to the kingdom of our Lord!

                                                            They all leave, stage goes dark on JESUS.
                                                            GOD enters.

                                                            GOD
I’ve been trying that for years. They are without hope my Son.

                                                            GOD and JESUS fly away in a very god-like action.


                                                            THE END.

Monday, August 12, 2013

TXT YA L8R DAY 9/31

TXT YA L8R
By Michelle Lane

                                                            3 girls stand on stage texting.
                                                            BING BING is heard form EMILY

                                                            EMILY
Oh my god. John texted me! “Hey baby hope you’re having a good day, XOXO John. Love you sweetie!”

                                                            ANNA
Oh! Send it to me!

                                                            TAYLOR
And me!

                                                            The three keep texting.
BOOP and BONG are heard from ANNA and TAYLOR.

ANNA
AWW that’s so sweet!

                                                            TAYLOR
So sweet!

                                                            EMILY
Right? He’s precious.
                                                            The three keep texting.

                                                            EMILY (while texting)
So did you guys watch Chris Matthews last night?

                                                            The other two girls stop and look at EMILY

                                                            ANNA
I saw like the first half.

                                                            TAYLOR
I recorded it.

                                                            They continue texting.
                                                           
                                                            EMILY
FB Status update: Hanging with my besties!

                                                            ANNA
Tag me!

                                                            TAYLOR
And me!                                                         

                                                            EMILY
Only if you bitches like it!

                                                            ANNA
Of course!

                                                            TAYLOR
Course!
                                                            They keep texting.

                                                            ANNA
TWEETING: with my best friends #truefriendship

                                                            EMILY
Totes retweeting!

                                                            TAYLOR
Retweeting!
                                                           
                                                            They keep texting.
                                                           
                                                            ANNA
Oh my god! Frankie texted me!

                                                            EMILY
No way!

                                                            TAYLOR
NO!

                                                            ANNA
Yes. Yes way.

                                                            EMILY
What a dick. Forward it to me.

                                                            TAYLOR
Dick. Me.

                                                            ANNA
He goes: “Hey Anna. I’m real sorry for last week. Hope I can make it up to you.”

                                                            EMILY
UGH what a douche!

                                                            TAYLOR
UGGHH douche!

                                                            They text.
TAYLOR collapses on the ground and begins to convulse.
The other two glance at her, point their phones and take a picture.

EMILY
Instagramming!

                                                            ANNA
Vining!

                                                            THE END