getting back into the swing of things...

good person of szechwan day 2.

so i'm confused because this play had a main character,and then it switched to shen teh.what happened to wang from before?is he going to come back or was he just in the begining?

well shen teh opened a shop thanks to the gods and their donation.but then her old landlords came and asked for a room.along with a begger man and mrs.shin.the man asked for cigarettes and shen teh gave then to him willingly.and mrs.shin sold shen teh her old shop and she's kind of bitter about it now.shen teh gives her rice and is kind to her but mrs.shin is just mad about her situation and i don't think thats fair to shen teh.shen teh gives her house to alot of people.a couple and their nephew.plus an aunt of theirs,a grandpa,cousins,just evryone in their family is staying in the very small shop and shen teh is kind enough to let them all stay for free.

and whos this cousin everyone's refering to?but shen teh just seems really hesitant about letting him foot the bill for her shop.so is he real at all?or is the family just lying for shen teh's sake?but isn't that going to get shen teh in to more trouble than before?so then she will looose her shop.and be poor again and have to be a prostitute again for money.so shen teh's kinda screwed untill she can pay off all the money for the shop.then she's going to have to lie more and then she's going to be in so much trouble.then the gods will probably have to see her again and she'll get punished i guess?i'm still really confused about this play.

but i do want to talk about movement today.i feel so awkward in movement class and i know it shows.i do have alot of inhabitions,and i'm afraid that i cant get over them.becuase even when i try to just sayscrew it michelle and just focus and have fun and do it!i can't.i'm just so afraid of looking like an ass i guess.

i also think that i'm not doing anything right in movement!i mean i feel like everyone else gets it and does it right and i'm just a mess.but then i start thinking how were not supposed to worry about everyone else.but its hard.i'm one of the most self consious people,and feeling behind is making me feel like i shouldn't be an actor!but then i think i'm only a freshman and i don't really know what i'm doing.so i'm just very confused.and i'm pretty sure it was obvious that i was over thinking so i'm sorry that my head wasn't completly in the class today.

so i'm going to try to just relax about it.its only the second marking period and i definatly can't expect to be perfect yet,or ever really.but i can't be great and get absolutely everything the first time.so i just have to REALLY try to get over my inhabitions.and just do it.

pg-100
today even though i'll admit i wasn't completly into the extersize,i did try and there were moments that i felt like something was clicking.so i'm really trying to work on everything.i had my blacks today and i read and wrote my blog.so i deserve a 100.