tuesday's post

so shen teh is back in her shop.but everyone still mooches off of her.i really want to like scream at these characters and tell them to get lives or a job or something!!!shen teh needs everything she can get and do they not care?i realise that shen teh is a giving person but what about the morals of the others?i always feel guilty taking from other people,but i never like to willingly take from people who need it more.but they just don't care!!!they can't just move on and support themselves.or even say oh thank you for offering,but no.they just keep saying where's my this?wheres that?sheh ten needs this.she came from nothing and now she has something,but they just take and take.

i guess its brecht's way of differentiating between sheh ten's goodness and kindness and the rest of the "normal" world's mentalities,that they come first.so brecht pushes the ruder things people do to extremes and in some cases not even to extremes,just to show that good people like true good people are hard to come by.AND because someone said that shen teh is the cousin too,she-in my eyes at least-isn't this true good person or shouldn't be considered one.because using an alternative personality doesn't mean its not you,its even worse because then its a huge lie!

i'm trying not to favor or dislike anyone but i appreciate shen teh's kindness but i hate the fact that she isn't truely kind!it bothers me.so very much.but i hated that all the moochers (number 1!) then could not even help wang when he really needed it(number 2!).wang is that true kindness because he just lives such a humble life style.he loses his hand he has nothing!and he doesn't have much to begin with!i feel so bad for him,because it isn't fair that shen teh is given this opportunity and is kind but secretly evil and mean but the true kindness the one that deserves all the wealth and help that sheh teh got,is just tossed aside by everyone and not cared for at all.its just not fair.

i guess in retrospect shen teh is giving back a bit to wang because she is going to lie so he can get compisated.but i feel like that isn't enough.now that i understand this play more i feel like i'm enjoying it a bit more.

but i have a question about the music part or the poems that everyone says.are they songs that were put to music and sang or were they said as poems,even though someof them don't really rhyme completely?like how were they presented in the performance?

pg-100
finally!!!!!!i felt RIGHT in movement class.its a miracle!!!!just after lacey had us sit for 10 minutes i felt my senses like work around me.and just be relaxed and i really just said in the begining today is a fun day,i have to just relax and do it and have fun with it!and i had such an amazing day in class.i just rolled with it.i let it out and i laughed when i wanted to,even when we had to use the choreography i said at one point that i haven't done anything in a while but i then thought,i didn't feel the need to do anything i just moved when i felt like moving and when i just wanted to not when i said i should move this way now.i didn't care if i was doing anything right i just felt it work.AHHHH!!!!!!!i can't wait for tomorrow.