tuesday.
so sun and shen teh are officially getting married.i feel like shen teh has finally given up on herself.like she no longer has her own like thoughts.i feel like sun is so over powering and controlling and that he will stop her from being her good self.
because i've been thinking about what we've been talking about.and i guess i see how shen teh is still trying to be good.and that shui ta isn't the bad guy i've been thinking of him as.he is just himself i'd like to say.he's not bad he just does what he feels is right.shen teh does the same.she just has a general good instinct.
everyone i feel like isn't good or bad anymore,but its just follows their gut insticts.like people just have better insticts and are naturally nicer or kinder.they do what they can.
sun just annoys me.he's so controlling and rude.and shen teh deserves more.she can do better.i don't understand why, even when she knows how he truely feels,she still hopes for the good to come out in him.she wants to repay the old couple and be kind, but he just say no don't even try its not important,we'll just leave and move on with my life and my career.how does she not leave him and even try to put up with that???
i don't know how many times we've gone over the theme and meaning behind it but i can't understand this play at all.i'm trying to finish this play and figure it out on my own but i'm seriously lost.and i have no idea what i'm missing anymore.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
wednesday.
so a bit of a crack i guess at the theme of the play here.wang talks to the gods about the least useful being the most fortunate.so the opposite being someone who is useful to everyone and helps everyone, like shen teh,is the least fortunate.she's so helpful and caring,but she's always hurt.she's going to be hurt by sun.i feel like he doesnt really care about her. he's just using her as a way to get to where he needs to be and that so unfair!but then i can also be said that shen teh cant always count on other people's good deeds.but when she doesn't trust people it's kind of going against what she does already,be nice and kind and caring.
but now what for shen teh?she has to give up her shop,she won't take any help,suns gone.what else does she have to do?she has to pay back the elderly couple and her rent.even when she's offered monay,she refuses it out of kindness or stupidity or whatever reason she has.
i want to just grab her and shake her and scream at her to do something!i just don't know how she can still try to defend sun and she tries to still pay back her debts.she just can't give up.
all the money too.wow.it really is like the root of all their problems.everyone is poor and miserable.they all have to borrow and pay back money.and they all need money but no one has any so you really start to see what happens to a group of poor people who get large sums of money.they just take it and destroy it.
pg-100
so today we worked on monologues a little bit.and we discussed audition processes.as much as i'd like to say i'm ready for it.i'm not.but i'm really going to work hard on my monolgues,because i know i'm going to be a mess with it.i'm so scared to try it again.but we'll see what happens.
No comments:
Post a Comment