the good person of szechwan

ok. so i was not expecting the play to take place in china.so that shocked me.i kinda understand the idea of the gods.but i don't understand wang;s purpose.like why is he the only one who believes in the gods coming,he's the only one why waited for them.everyone else turned him away and didn't give the gods a passing glance.wang was the only one who cared?well and shen teh.but she's convinced almost by wang about the gods.

so some questions...
why are the gods there?
why are they making a big deal about "good" people?
why do they need a place to stay?
did the gods destroy the other cities they talk about?because of not finding "good" people?
why are they hesitant about giving shen teh money?

i just am really unsure whats going to happen in this play.the gods are worring me for some reason.they seem a bit off.like bad or evil in some way.because no one really cares about them,so are they even real gods?or just like figments of imagination?

this is a really long play.i have a feeling i'm going to be confused alot.i really don't know what to think about this play yet.does it have alot to do with the gods?like believing in them or something or is it about right and wrong?we shall see.

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so i'm very excited about my A in theatre.thank you participation and journal entries.today i paid attention in class.i argued with mrs.harvey about hyperbolic doubt!i take pride in that.and i think its participating,kinda.i started reading the good person of szechwan.and most of all SUPER CONGRATS ON YOUR TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=]!!!

house of bernarda alba

monday's post

i'm really enjoying this play so far.but i'm confused as to what it "means" i guess.like what is the point of this play besides a love story gone wrong?i don't want to "trash" it but i really dont understand what is important about it besides entertainment.i get that all the girls are stuck in the house and their mother is strict and that drives the girls so a breaking point.they're all sick of each other and they are interested in any guy that comes along,despite the fact that one sister is already after him.they all know whats happening amongst themselves but no one does anything because they're family i guess.but at this point they're not family.they're just women who have grown disconneced because of they're physical closeness.thfamily aspect isn't there anymore between any of them.

well maybe that's the purpose...

is that family doesn't always remain in tact like you'd want it to.physical closeness doesn't equal family togetherness.its the seeing other people and doing other things that make you want to stay with your family,brings on family togetherness.

bernarda i think by trying to keep her girls and strengthen the family is actually demolishing it.you can't force a family to become a family.you can control the family when things get out of hand but you have to let the family grow on it's own.

poncia understands this and by butting head with bernarda and trying to get her to see the better way,bernarda's strong personality comes in and does the opposite because of her morals and to prove poncia wrong.

i think there is also something to be said about the love aspect of this play.besides just killing the family aspect bernarda kills the girls's sense of friends and love.what ever comes they just take it,withoout seeing what else the world has to offer.if one man comes into the life of the family even if its for one girl they all consume the man becuase they are so used to the woman inflection that the male inflection is dry and they all full up on one.detroying themselves as sisters in the process.
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tuesday's post.

so poncia basically backs up my whole analysis from yesterday.she and the servant say that the women go crazy over one man because they have none.and that blood means nothing to the girls because they need that "man" figure in their lives.

adela is really interesting.she's so desperate for pepe even when he's with her sister,that she will do anything to be with him.she even says she will be what ever he wants and she will be his mistriss and only he comands her.

but what i want to know is,was she pregnant before or did her and pepe just have sex in the third act?because they say she slept in the bed of a bad woman so that could mean either,but if she looked like she just came away from pepe,she was never pregnant and i don't understand then why she was so upset about the other girls baby dying.or if she was pregnant why did she have straw on her skirts now?

either way she didn't die a virgin like bernarda said.clearly she wanted to be in control of her daughters and even up to that point.up until they were loosing they're virginity,she had to control them.

but in the end pepe runs away after bernarda tried to kill him.but really none of this is his fault.the way lorca describes him,he's kinda un controlable,so why expect him to stick to one girl?and if they throw themselves at him would any man stop them?well you can say he SHOULD have controlled himself,and yes that is true,so some blame does rest on him.but!without bernarda starving the girls from a life outside of her clutches,they wouldn't scramble over the one man in their lives.and bernarda wouldn't have lost her daughter,and her daughter's innocence to him.plus angustias might have married and martirio would not be caught in a rage of jealousy.

and that would be the end.

pg-100
sat prep scared the living crap out of me.i wanted to try for the 1400's but i know there is no way i can ever do it.i'm not being negitive i'm being realistic abou tmy strengths here.i'm not a good stress person.sat's are super super stressful.i mean i was getting pissed at 10 practice questions that weren't even graded it was just an idea of what is to come.i'm afraid that the sat's will just drive me insane.i would have loved to have the balls to say yes i will get a 1400,and if i dont i will put up with the "humiliation",but i just couln't make the comitment.but i did try really hard with the practice questions today.as much as i freaked unnessesarily.i tried still!

participation

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today i paid attention during the movie.and i really disagree when you said the audiance wants higgins and eliza together.maybe its becuase we were almost "brought up" to think otherwise,but i seriously didn't want them to end up together.eliza is too good for higgins.i really understand mr.doolittle now.and i particiapted in our discusion after the movie.

bernarda alba day 3

adela is so pregnant and i'm pretty sure its pepe's baby.when she was upset about librada's daughter getting killed over her baby,she cluched her stomach.thats the eternal sign of mother-hood.and for lorca to write it in to the play oviously means its a symbol,or a sign that says "hey this action means something inportant later!!!!!"

but martirio stole the picture of pepe,so she likes him too.so you have adela pregnant with pepe,angustias engaged to pepe,and martirio in love with pepe.when is pepe ever goin to talk?or is he just talked about the whole time?

its really interesting that this whole play so far is just women.and they have bernarda in absolute power over all the characters besides pepe.she's almost evil but i can understand her controling ways,she loves her girls and doesn't want that empty nest.and i think she has some internal or even subconsious hatred of men from some point in her past that really comes out to protect her daughters.its out of love and care,but she pushes that love and care until its almost hysteria.i mean angustias hasn't had a boyfriend even untill she's nearing 40!

and la poncia is interseting too.she's had bad experiance with women in her life,and i think her calm about men and dating and everything is a reverse affect of women from her life.instead of hating and despising women,she loves men.she prefers them to women.and she doesn't hate women in the process because she is one herself and she understands that she can't hate what she is.

pepe almost reminds me of rosealie i think it was, from romeo and juilet.she was always in the plot or a part of it,but she was never seen or spoke in the entire story.she's just like a constant figment.and thats what pepe is.a figment that everyone is after because not only is he the girls ticket to freedom from their mother,but he's hot!he's like the idea of freedom or fame,always in your mind but never physical in front of you.

and i finished act 2.so only one act left.

pg-100
today we watched more of my fair lady.and i still like it.it never really changed for me.i mean i'm not one to laugh out loud for small witty humor,so it may not look like i enjoy the movie but i really do.and i'm understanding the father so much better after today.i was so confused at first by his additude.but i get it now.and i see the difference in the movie end and shaw's end already.the second the party scene began i felt that change and i really didn't like it.even when eliza was dancing around i felt the difference.i mean shaw didn't write a musical and the progress of eliza's training into the play but that still made sense with the original.now this ending is just KILLING it...and i dislike it.

house of bernarda alba from tuesday and wednesday.

tuesday.



so these sisters are so catty!like i really want to say,they're family and they shouldn't be like that.but i feel like they're just playing around and joking with they're little sister.but at the same time i want to kind of say,they're not.they really are this catty and bitchy and almost rude to each other.and i hate to see that in families.



so is adela being a little backstabber and cheating with her sisters fionce?i think so.she's edgy and tepermental and tired...so maybe she's with pepe.because magdalena makes alot of sense when she says pepe shouldn't like angustina.being almost 10-15 years apart,why would a man willingly want to marry an old lady for any reason besides money?what else would there be?especially that they've never met before and augustina's mother keeps her on an extremely tight leesh.



and i want to know why that is!why is bernarda so attached to her daughters?poncia makes a really good crack at the girls saying their house is like a convent,because really those girls even say the word man and their mother comes running in.why can't the girls just leave??they're all old enough to live on their own and there is now way they're happy there.i dont care if you live with your mothjer and grandmother and sisters and what not,being a girl denied men for that long your going to want to leave.and if your grandmother is half insane,you rmother is over bearing and controlling,your going to want to leave even more so i don't understand why these girls dont grow some back bone,leave,get a guy,and go!live your life free as a bird!just go for it already.



i am having an issue with the girl's names.they're all spanish-y and different and complicated.i can't remember who is who.and the age order either because i think thats going to be important in the text at some point.

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wednesday.



so i moved along in act 2 and i'm almost done with that.so adela is being the little back stabber,but now poncia is "in" on the secret.its because she's smart and she's learned about men and relationships before.



i feel bad for all the sisters though.they're clearly jealous and i know how they feel.both my sister do everything first and you get that jealous feeling for your family or even your friends who are doing better than you,but you have to support them some how because your close to them.



i really feel bad for angustias.because if she ever finds out about her sister all hell will break loose.because its her sister and her fionce.how can you forgive them,those people so close to you,just going behind your back like that?



i realloy want to talk about class thoday though.

as soon as i left.i basically broke out into tears.i really thought about it and i have i feel like i have no other option if theatre doesn't work out for something!i'm not smart.i'm a good student.being a good student doesn't give you a job.i've never felt good at anything besides performing.besides being in the theatre.but i'm terrified that i won't be good at it anymore and then i have nothing else to do.i'm not the greastes dancer,i love doing it and thats why i do,i'm decent.so i have no real career in that.i used to feel good with acting,and ever since this school year i've felt confertable with it.now i'm feeling shaken i'm feeling challenged.i like how i'm learning and i feel like i want to make this my lifestlye!i just don't know what to say when on one side i have this love for it,but on the other i have this self doubt that says how will i make this into a career?then i think how do i think about that as a 14 year old?how do i think about my whole career now??how many other kids do that?now??i'm just so scared.that i wont be enough.talented,smart,confident.everything!i'm just really scared and today really made me realise that.



pg-100

well after i poured my heart out to a computer screen.i read bernarda alba.for tuesday and wednesday.i also took some notes about my fair lady from today.and i did pay attention to the movie.

participation

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today i helped teach the dancers how to lift macenite,i attempted to lift the orcastra pit cover thing-y...and failed.i helped lift macenite with arlie my new dance friend,and i also attempted to place some specialty pieces with kelsey and john.didn't do the greatest job,but hey its the thought that counts right?

bernarda alba day 2

so... we get introduced to all the daughters or most of them at least.i don't get why bernarda is so over protective,like one girl got in trouble for listening to the men's conversation?why is that such a big deal?

and what were the men talking about?the paca la roseta?is that like the town girl who just goes to any man that wants her?and clearly thats not accepted by anyone really.

and why do none of the girls have men in there life,i mean i understand their dad just died,but seriously,no boyfriends no sueters,no men at all?how is that possible?i mean their rich according to the text,maybe not the richest possible,but they have money it seems,so why wouldn't men,even the shallow ones!,atleast give them a shot?

it seems like the girls want men,they want to be married,but their mother is holding them back.and why is thta?she was married,why can't her daughters have that same option.

so again.i'm seriously stuck on what to write about.just nothing is happening that i can write about!and its annoying how my blog is so short.but i just dont know what to say here.

but wait we watch my fair lady tomorrow!maybe i'll understand the end of pygmalion now.because i'm sure were going to compare the two,if we get to the end of the movie.i'm just so confused about higgins and eliza's like nding relationship.i think i understand it,but a part of me is doubting that i do.so we will see what happens.

pg-100
so i participated in the expanding and contracting today.skinned my elbow.but its just another theatre scar.i didn't understand the "fake it till you make it" aspect of the exercise.i mean i got the justification i think,thats easier than faking it,because the faking seems soooooooooooooo fake and it annoys me that it feels so stupid fake and pointless.but i participated so yay!

(thursday's post/friday's participation)house of bernarda alba day 1

so bernarda alba.it starts off with the servents kind of trash talking how bernarda treats them,like dogs basically.how all they do is work and work,get next to no food,and no appriciation for it.

eventually they start to talk about antonio maria benvides,and alot of women in black enter,so i'm going to infer that he died and they just returned from a funeral.

then i'm also going to guess that the girls and women that they were refering to,but never gave names for are bernarda's family or her daughters,she does call one name so i'm going to guess that its one of her five daughters.

i'm really unsure what to write about here,i mean i think i'm still on that platform point if i had a plot chart thing...like i hate writing about the beginings of plays because i feel like there never is much to write about.but i'm not sure yet with this play.i do like the title,because in the norton they have a little conotation that says "a drama about the women in the villages in spain" so that sounds interesting and judging by the character list i'm going to guess that it centers around bernarda's generations,her daughters and her mother.so with women in generations there is always drama,plus with 5 kids ages 20-39,you just kinda know that there will be drama.and with a grandmother there,i'm going to guess that she'll want the "old ways" back and will lecture her uncaring granddaughters about them.while bernarda will also lecture her daughters about something different.

i'm not making fun of the play,i'm excited to read it.i'm just saying that you can almost tell what will happen just by that.

pg-100
today,we did open scenes!yay...well i practice me and lexii were the first group to demonstate,and i feel that we worked really well in practice.we both were really excited for the scenes.i felt that it could have gone a bit better though.like more expanding and contracting,physically at least.i mean weve had far better practices.but i dont want to compare it.what's done is done.

thursday's participation

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today we worked again on our scenes.after a bit of explanation from katelin,i got the hang of it.the scene is going well,and tomorrow we will see how it goes!plus today i saw the dance show which was absolutely amazing!i loveeeed it!!!!!can't wait for the next show now.

wednesday's pygmalion

and the end of act 5.

so mr.doolittle gets married.and the characters are kind of ending their journey together and they have to figure out where they will go.

mr.doolittle is getting married to eliza's stepmom.pickering is being his respectful self and he's trying to coax eliza back into returning to him and higgins,instead of her dad.but he was mainly content with his life in the begining,so he doesn't have a like a major life change.

eliza and higgins have a bonding moment at the end.higgins and eliza just talk out what happened,and whether or not eliza will return to the house.and eliza gets mad at him for treating her the way he does.higgins wants her back,as much as he denies it,as much as he pokes fun at her,and doesn't really care,he does.he likes eliza and i feel like she's a good match for him,she has smarts,emotions,but a bit of a hard skin that can withstand most of higgins's jabs.but higgins isn't a match for eliza.higgins doesn't see that what he says hurts eliza,she has a hrad skin but that because higgins and pickering have taught her to keep that inside,and while she can hold it in,it hurts deep down.she can but she shouldn't.

eliza and higgins change here.higgins becomes the little romantic and shows his heart,where as eliza has that edge,and additude that higgins deserves from her.she even tells him she won't be happy with him,and she will have a life seperated from him.higgins just continues to push her around,trying to convince her that he is better than anything she can get.and she walks away,not doing another thing for higgins.

pg-100
today i worked hard in class with luis.lexii and i were constantly trying in class,whether we were good or not.we tried.i had my blacks today,i participated in the exersises.i had my lines down.kinda.but i'm trying.and i'll get them.

monday and tuesday's posts.

monday's post

i feel so bad for eliza here.she just feels so down after higgins beats her up and she just sits silently.what ever happened to that additude she had,the little bit of kick that her flower girl side had?but i totally understand where she'es coming from.she's figuring out that being this lady will not last forever,that at some point she'll have to leave the house and go and find a place in the world.but after being this super refined girl for so long,how will she have the abbility to continue that on her own?what will happen to her?she can't go back to her old life and expect to be treated the same,she's a completely different person.and she can't just jump into upper class society because there will be no way to sustane herself.she's unmarried,unemployed,uneducated,but refined.how do you fit into society like that?

and higgins!he just tosses her aside like she's nothing,like she's just a little toy.she sits infront of higgns and piclering and they talk as if she's not there or can't hear a word they say.he blames it on anxioty and low spirits.he doesn't care for her own personal being,but if she has a pretty face,she's ok!

but at the end of act 4 what is higgins feeling?does he not want eliza to leave so he's insulted and hurt that she would want to?and is eliza happy to see him this way,because at the very end she almost teses him,is that out of spite or pure humor?i'm so confused with them two.does higgns like her now is that what i'm missing?has he loved her this whole time and it just flew over my head?

clearly eliza is coming out of her fantasy world with higgins and pickering,so she's trying to decide what she can have to start her new life with,and higgins takes offense to that?the fact that she's almost ready to "leave the nest"?wasn't it just a challege for him in the first place?or was this whole thing a big fake cover up about how he really feels?

i'm missing something huge here.i feel very stupid...
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tuesday's post.

so eliza's gone off.higgins is freaking out,and everyone else is very calm about the situation.

and eliza's father has returned!but why i'm not entirely sure.he is dressed nicely now he looks very respectable,he's not the poor dustman we saw before,but why is what i don't get.higgins told someone that he is a original moralist?and they gave him money in his will?i'm not really sure about that.but the idea is now he has money.

one thing that i love is that he says higgins,by getting him money,has ruined him.at first i was like why?and then i thought about it and i like what he's saying,that money changes people,becoming an upperclass changes you.and that he doesn't want to change at all he liked where he was in society,in his head,in his heart,in his life in general.he was content.but throw a bunch of money in there and you have a whole new man that isn't who doolittle is.that being a gentalmen brings on more problems then not being one,that he's going to now have to deal with beggers and people trying to take his money.

money can't buy you happiness.he was a happier man when all he had to worry about was himself.now he has all this money that he thinks people will be after,and now he has them to worry about.

and thank you mrs.higgins for shinning some light on what higgins and pickering have done this whole time!eliza did well and to just be completly ignored and cast aside infront of her,is so rude and cruel.especially to someone who is as vonerable as her.and higins and pickering deny it!how is that possible!like its so frustrating!

but eliza throws it right back in there faces,she is the cool calm collectiveness that higgins is not and it makes him look stupid.and pickering is also very respectable.while higgins just continues to make an ass out of himself.

i'm almost done with act 5,hopefully tomorrow wil be my last day with pygmalion.

pg-100
today i worked with lexii on our open scene.dan taught us about justification and its really coming together.i actually memorized my lines(for some reason that was the hardest thing about the open scene.i really dont get why...)and i'm working on the acting.so we'll see how the scene ends up.

pygmalion day 5 and 6

so eliza's first public outing.did it go ok?i had mixed reactions to the characters reactions.i felt like they liked eliza,but they were confused by her.i feel like higgins taught her the accent but didnt teach her the speech.like teaching a language just with vocab,but not teaching them how to speak in sentances.

i like freddy,i really hope something happens between him and eliza.because i feel like he needs something positive.but i also feel like eliza's going to hold her head high and take the single route.because she seems to be the independent woman type.thats why i dont want her with higgins,even if it doesn't happen,i would never want them together.because i feel that higgins would destroy eliza,and make her a boring housewife rather thatn her out going,"poor" self.

clara's interesting too.you can totally tell she was some what interested in higgins.but she felt threataned by eliza.because thats the first thought for that time.

i thought it was interesting how pickering acted like he didnt know eliza.but then higgins ruined it by blurting out how he knew the hills and freddy.i wanted to say he's being stupid because they're totally going to remember eliza.even mrs.hill said she knew her eyes,and i think freddy definatly remembered her.

absolute favorite part of this part.the way eliza speaks becomes a new way to talk!clara wants to talk like her.and i think its just about having balls to say what you want.like eliza does,and higgins just wanted to cover up her mistake.but now its a new fashion!
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so moving on.

i feel like after eliza's first outing, higgins is starting to care about her.he says he dislikes teaching her,but i feel like he's becoming fond of her.he even says how he likes her because she can remember his appointments,he's almost realising she's not just this little project he has to work on,but that she's a human and she has feelings,plus she is useful besides being the men's science project.she can make a life for herself.

its shocking to see how much eliza is improving.higgins and pickering both raved about her to mrs.higgins.she can do things that took higgins years to master.i feel that its her drive,because she needs this to make a better life.higgins was well off and followed his dream,eliza didn't have that silver spoon when she began.higgins always had that so if the speech didnt work out,he had something to fall back on,plus he was educated!so he could do anything.eliza lived on the streets forever,and has nothing good to fall back on.

mrs.higgins point makes alot of sense and backs up what i think.eliza can be passed off as a refind woman,but she isn't one.she will always be that girl from the streets,and she wont have the oppertunities,that her personality should have.it's almost unfair.

but the men just blow it off,because what do they have to worry about?nothing,they have lives outside of eliza,eliza has nothing outside of what she learns from them.

pg-100
today i took good notes about the lights,and i participated in our class discussion.i came prepared for tech,even though we didn't really tech,but still i was ready for it.plus i blogged for tonight and yesterday.

pg-100

today being one of four generalists,i helped out with tech.i made some light gells.and i helped dan move and find all the s4's.which included going on the catwalk!!which was very fun.i got to undo 2 lights from there.and i learned how to take them down from the catwalk properly.over all i like tech days.

pygmalion day 4

i love the realistic discriptions in the set designs.even with the characters.because they say land marks and artist types and EVERYTHING.it shocks me how much you hear about london and england just by the footnotes.i just feel like it shows how much shaw cared about the reader knowing what's going on.but it could also be because of higgin's job.he has to know where things are from,especially for the reader's sake and dialogue.

i find it funny how everyone's assumsion of eliza is that her and higgns are in love or a relationship or something romantic.even shaw,when he didnt want anything to happen to them,he puts it in the character's mind.which in turn will put it in the audiance's mind.

its interesting to see how the characters(freddy,the rich mother and daughter)come back,only for higgins to see that they know eliza and him from the day they all met.like finding out some random person you saw on the street is your mother's closest friend.

and how does freddy speak?he says ahdedo as how do you do.does he have a cockney accent too?or something similair?or is he just talking that way to be funny or polite?

i love higgins idea of honesty."what they think they ought to think is bad enough..but what they really think would break up the whole show"then he goes on to say how his true thoughts are too rude basically for the conversation.i would think,seeing how he blurts everything else out like he doesn't care,it wouldn't be too rude.i like his ideals about honest talking.and i really agree.were polite about things we feel we should say,but is that what we really want to say?most likely not.

but after that small ordeal,eliza comes for her first "test".

pg-100
today i helped fix the orcastra pit with was being the bigest pain in the but,ever.we never really fixed it.it still sticks up about half an inch.at several points i just wantd to jump on it and force it down.thats how annoying it was.and i painted!that was fun,kinda.i got paint on my ands,feet,and knees somehow.but i really like teching.because i feel like talent isn't really an issue,its kinda your brain when your just doing things like painting,i mean it oviously takes talent for designing any part of tech,but as a worker,your brain helpss you more than talent.

pygmalion day 3 i think...

so eliza's father returns!

why is higgins so weird to him?like he just talks in circles,like he imidiatly starts accusing mr.doolittle of sending his daughter,and plotting against him and wanting money.why is that?i feel like higgins does this to everyone,just talks to confuse the hell out of them.because oviously he's intelligent and he can talk circles around them,but why does he.i really dont get his additude toward everything.

i hate saying this over and over about every character but...

i feel like he thinks he's better than the doolittles so he chooses what he wants from them,and then confusses the hell out of them for no reason at all!like hes always in control because he can play off of their illiteracy.

but anyway...

we went over today in class why mr.doolittle would come to get eliza,basically it was a taboo for an umarried woman to be away from her parents,to be living by herself,and to even be living with a man who she is not married to,so i can inderstand why mr.doolittle wants to know whats happening,but i don't get why higgins wants to throw her out,he didnt even give doolittle a chance to explain fully,he just assumed and started being very rude about it.

but then doolittle!he wanted to sell/rent his daughter out to higgins.thats so cruel.i dont care about the time or how poor he is,that is cruel to a girl like eliza,she's beaten down as is by society,then her own father goes to sell her for only 5 pounds!i do understand where he's coming from,how he;s desperate for money,but i wish it wasn't for his daughter.thats my only issue with it.

but i love when eliza comes out and no one can reconize her.then mrs.pearce asks higgins not to flatter her,i find that funny,and she thinks she looks silly!its funny because higgins isn't the one you'd think would flatter her,i guess this is the begining of an underlining relationship between them,this would lead the audiance in that direction,but as we know,it never happens.

pg-100
today we honestly didn't do much in class.we discussed pygmalion for a bit,but there wasn't much to discuss at the time,because alot of people haven't started or their on act 2.but we did discuss and i participated in that.and i read and blogged today.

pygmalion.wednesdays post

wow!woooowww.wow.

what a little....

higgins is so mean.does he mean to be that rude and disrespectful?or is it sarcasm taken the wrong way,because those were some pretty rude things to say.

well in act two we are introduced to mrs.pearce who is a housemaid for higgins and offers to help eliza by letting her live there and really teach her the real side of society,i feel.because you can teach someone to be proper,but they will never know how to use it.its like learning a language,memorizing all this vocabulary,but never being taught how to speak a sentance of the language.it becomes completely useless.

so thank god for mrs pearce.

but back to higgins.to me he just seems like a not cruel,but uncarring man.like he's too good to care what people think of him.thats why he can afford to be mean to eliza.

i think eliza is like a science experiment to higgins.higgins doesn't care for her feelings or what happens to her emotionally,just the end result,what happens on the outside.

i hope that will change.

a few questions...
1.why does eliza constanly say "ah-oh-ah" does she actaully say that or is it her crying?
2.can higgins just force eliza onto mrs.pearce like that?he basically said adopt her take care of her,she's your problem now.
3.does higgins mean what he says about eliza,or is it just cruel sarcastic jokes?

participation for wednesday

pg-100

today i went into the orchestra pit for the first time.very exciting there.i helped lift the macenite(spelling..)moved lights around at some point.and i also helped lay down the macenite on the stage with john,sisqo,kp,emily jr.,and margie.it was a very fun day.

pygmalion day 2

i really want to learn how to speek like the eliza now.i totally forgot what you called it in class,but i really want to learn.

so.what i read is basically what we went over in class,pickering and higgins leave eliza at the church where she has her money from higgins and she takes her cab away.

then i moved on to act 2!

higgins does seem really interesting.his character discription basically proved that.he's intelligent and curious,but to me he seems like an outspoken scientist.caring about the science and the facts but with a complete disregard of people and feelings.with a sarcastic edge.

but he does seem like a bit of a jerk,its almost funny what he says (in a cruel way...but still.)but to a pesron it seems degrading.

but i love eliza's spunky additude,she gets completely turned away and laughed at by higgins then goes back to him with a happy go lucky,top notch kind of additude.its really different to see in such a low person,usually they seem sad and down on their luck,but she's really different.she even talks back to the men,saying if you can't treat me with respect,why should i give you any?i love her already.

so she goes to see higgins,makes her offer,and gets denied at first.they laugh and make fun of her,then pickering decides to actually help the eliza get her lessons.

so this should be interesting.i think if either of the men decide to hit on eliza or flatter her or anything,she'd block them out,because i feel like she's focused on what she wants to do with her life.and she would let anything get in her way,even one sarcastic annoying teacher and his student.

pg-100
today i was prepared with my norton,being the only nerd to have it in class.i took my notes for today about the independent theatre.which i really love,i think its really cool for the younger artists to stand up like that,like secret theatre hippies.

pygmalion day 1

so we begin with pygmalion.and it totally just clicked that the stupid disney movie "confessions of a teenage drama queen" has a play going on within the movie,that;s supposed to be a modern day version of pygmalion.

well disney lets ee how you did.i'm sure it will be crappy.

i love the realistic discription of the flower girl on the second page.its just so plain,that it shows you exactly what shaw would want you to see.as apposed to other writers who might leave it up to the imagination.

plus i love the clear voice/dialect difference.clearly the flower girl is wayyyy less educated and has grown up without that proper speech teachingsshe's just really hard to understand.

but what exactly happened to the girl?one foot note says she was driven to prostitution?and that they'll take away her character?what does that mean?

there are alot of footnotes.the speech is so different.its like broken english with more parts...its hard to explain.but i really like it.its just new,its not really hard to understand it just takes a couple of tries to understand then it clicks really easily.

and whats the big deal about aking down her words?is that what they used to do or something?like a statement on the street?so thats how they could arrest them,if they say such and such or do such and such,the "tec" would take them away?but then why would some random person be taking notes?

what i really want to know is what this girl has to do with anything.

pg-100
my name's michelle and i have no apologies.i was really not looking forwarcd to go today,not that i was afraid,but more of it seemed uncomfertable to be sitting and moving and screaming.i don't have any idea why but the activity just seemed really uncomfertable,even when i tried it,i just let everything go i still felt really off balance or something...its hard to explain.mirroring was hard too,i'm so bad at mirrors but i tried.i definatly tried today and just didn't care what happened.so thats why i deserve a 100,i let it go.

first day your back!

today!

todaytodaytodayyy.

well.today was not at all as nerve racking as i thought.i was really ok with everything mentally.i just felt,i'm going to do it.like it.be proud of it.and then its out of my hands.i wasn't nervous mentally.but apparently i was nervous physically.cause i was rocking or swaying,and i do that all the time when i'm nervous,its like my nervous reflex.

so my body was nervous without telling my head.thanks body.

but slating i'm a bit confused about.like how do you show who you are?i thought iwas fine,but i was nervous.so how do you get rid of that?

and i talked to a miget.i don't know!i felt like i was in eye line with an actual person,but did i really look that far down????

and i was thinking about something else today.i've just had alot on my mind and i was trying to keep it out,but i guess it still showed.i'm really sorry about that.

and my perfectionist side.i really didn't think i was doing that!i really thought last week i just got over that.and i didn't do my monologue perfect,but i still felt good about it.so i don't see how the perfectionist side came out...

i really just wish i could have seen myself perform it.thats what's driving me crazy.i feel like i did ok,from my point of view.but i feel like viewing it my setting isn't definate,my other actor isn't there.and i'm being really fake.its bugging me,that i think this but i've never heard it from anyone.no one that watched the first time with phil,you didn't say anything.so i'm just so confused.if my mind explodes,you can ignore it.

pg-100

i performed my monologue today.good, bad, however i did.i did it.and i feel that i was pretty calm about the situation.way less nervous than the first time.but i feel like last time might have been better.maybe i need some nerves to make it better.

FRIDAY!AHHHH.

monologues were so nerve wracking.

for nothing!

i felt like i did my best.i tried my hardest,and i wasn't nervous.i just stopped caring about what i got and had fun with it.just went up.slated.and did it.

i do feel that my set was...off?i just wanted to know if the audiance felt it.because i did,but i didn;t move around alot and didn;t touch much so i just really wanted them to see that i was in that office place and there's the desk and door and cabinet and everything!

but the dance show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i felt so just in awe by the whole thing!it was beautiful and i understood it,yet i didn;t and it just blew my mind awayyyyy!i wish i could be that good or even come close to that.i just wanted to get up and do something!!!!

i just don't even know.

but monolgues.i still felt a bit negative but i'm really trying to just let it go.and what ocmes from it comes from it.there is nothing i can do about it anymore.

pg-100

even though i have alot of mixed feelings about my monologue over all it felt really good.i'm negative about some parts,positive about others.so i'm working on it.i did all my blogs today.sent you the writing final.and i saw an amazing performance tonight!!!

thursday's post

welllllllll.

tomorrow is the day.

insert scream here.

today though,i practiced my monologue in front of the class, and i need to work on my setting.there is so much i think i could do and what i want it to be.that i'm getting lost in everything.and its like some weird middle way between a bunch of ideas.

so god only knows.

i'm really feeling confertable with character body and tension.today phil had us work by ourselves,doing what ever we needed to prepare for the monologue practice today.and i worked on completly relaxing my body,and removing any tension and just being limp and moldable.then i looked in the mirror and went part by part and tried to figure out what parts of her body my charcter would have tense.then i went from my first and second postions in the scene and worked with the tension.rather than standing still in one place i just kind walked and moved like my character would with her tension.just felt it out and it helped alot.because it broke a mold of what i was doing before,were i would just sr=tand from one place,walk then go to the next and they became almost like poses,but when walking like my character it helped me get in touch with her alot more.

so we shall see what tomorrow brings.....

cue dramatic music.dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

wednesday's post

i'm not really sure what i write about,cause i'm finished with cherry orchard.and i want to wait untill after the final to read the next play.

so today with phil.we worked on percentages and the back.like 70% back focus basically and only 30% front focus.i'm confused about this,like i thought i got it,but how do you use it for acting????like how does it help?i could understand like 30 or 40% back but i feel like why not have the majority in the frint,because thats like your face and the majority of what the audiance focuses on.

so i have no idea.

monologue daqy i creeping closer and closer.i'm just afraid that i wont do anything!and i'm going to regret everything i did.then i'll be in the bottom and then i'll freak out even more!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

so i'm working on my review all week if you're wondering why this is shorter than usual.

pg-75

second day with phil.

i dont really know what to write anymore about cherry orchard.it was interesting but is there much to say about it?there were alot of events but it all seemed "real life" so it's not that nothing happened but nothing CRAZY EXCITING happened. so i'm not really sure what to say about the whole play.

monologues are getting there i guess.today was difficult.i kinda,got confused i could say.i just like lost close to everything i learned.but the seniors and phil told me that oviously your going to have ups and downs so its just a process that i have to deal with.i'm working on it!=]

pg-100

my blog's short today because i want to start the review for real today.so today i worked on my monologue in class,i was one of the 4 freshman to go up today and work on our monologues in front of the class.scary,yes,but i'm happy i did it.worked on my review and wrote my blog.and reviewed cherry orchard.

monday-first day with phil.

so cherry orchard is complete!

nothing happened to the story!nothing.it was just like a day in the life of this family.i appriciate the realness and calm of everything.but besides everyone coming back from their trip and then the party and then lopakhin was rude and annoying when he was buying the orchard and hes being unreasonable with cutting it down.

my heart went out to the family though.like that orchard ment so much to them.and that house.that was their life and then lopakhin just comes in and has to take over.he was their friend though!i would be nice and kind and give it back to them.that was there everything,but lopakhin came and just cut it down.

but i did love the ending.i was trying to picture that and even though it was sad for fris he died in the place where he lived.that was his life too.he worked for them for a very long time.and he dies were i think he was the most happy.and how it ended with the cutting down of the orchard.with the lighting,that would be so beautiful,just watching the shadows and hearing the sounds.

so cherry orchard down.one more play to go.

class with phil...

today helped alot.phil had us create our "collapsible surroundings" and then have one position looking at something at a distance.then have a second position.the exercise that helped me the most,was this mirror exercise.he told us to look at a "mirror" and see our character and figure out, body part by body part basically,how we could recreate our character's body on ourselves.then recite the lines of our monolouge in our characters body.i saw that jeannie was more that the defensive bitch i've always saw her as.that at first she wants tom to feel like crap for what he did to her.but that soon she sees that this is a man i used to be open with,and she opens up moreand lets out what was eating away at her for so long,she still makes tom feel like crap but not consiously she opens for herself,but it hurts tom at the same time.

also i saw her more physically.i used to see her as the strong powerful female with a wall that no matter what you said wouldn't come down.but really she's very fragile and raw underneath.so rather than always being strong she,even physically breaks down and LOOKS defeated.not just feels defeated.

so its different than i thought at first.i was afraid because my monologue came off very fake.but now i see that i was doing it completely wrong,that i wasn't fully seeing the character and her setting and what was going to happen.i always saw my setting as on a stage but today i saw it as a real room in the real world,not a set in a play.

pg-100
today i really spoke up in class and i saw what phil wanted us to do.i feel like i understood my monologue a thousand times better because of what phil taught us today.i was participating and i read and wrote my blog today.plus i worked on my review which i emailed to you for comments.

wow.what a dork i am.

because i can't control my computer,while looking at my blog,i clicked apon someone elses blog.not even sure who.but i just realised,i have like the longest blog ever.

after looking at some other blogs because i have no life like that i realised that i write like a psycoapth.

i guess i just have a super amount of crap to say about the smallest of things,i'm sorry for putting you through all of the reading=]

thursday's post.

OH MY GOD SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER!!!!!!!

wow.it was such an experience.it was so great,and i know i sound so cliche,but it was amazing!!

for our review,i actually wanted to say something about the colors of the costumes,because i noticed that at the very begining.because the colors were so crazy,and i thought that was odd,for the time period,because you would think that they would have worn more blase colors,more neutrals,but the two girls came strait out wil a bright blue and yellow dress,then the mother came in her wonderful pink number,and i was really surprised.

but i feel like thats almost a cop-out because we disussed it on the bus as well,and alot of people had ideas about it,but that was one of the most interesting parts of the play for me at least,was the costumes and set.

cherry orchard!

i only read liubov's huge speech like 20 thousand times.so now we know why everyone left for paris,but what i want to know is who she had an affair with?is it on of the characters in the story?and who would treat her with such disrespect?

i know i sound like a broken record with this,but nothing is happening to blogg about!its all small talk i feel like!i like it,i like how its flowing and how real it is...but nothing interesting is happening.

i'm starting to like lopakhin.he seems kinda like a dreamer,kind of like a romantisist with a buisness flair.so i'm excited to see what will happen to him along the way.

i'm just waiting for something to happen.something interesting!!

i jsut want to rant abit about the monologues.

i was the only freshman today to attempt to read my monologue.i had butterflies coming out my butt thats how nervous i was.

i feel like i am being real in some way.i'm saying it as much of me as i can put into the character,and she's alot like me but its still fake and it feels weird.then today when you told me to seduce javi,i felt lie how can i do that when its a mnologue thats so differnet from seduction?how would you ever apply a goal to a monologue thats completely different from the goal set by strictly reading the monologue?

like if you look a monologue nora can do where shes saying "i'm spoiling the children and i'm a horrible person for this!" and your told to cheer someone up how can you do that?

or should it just be,even if the words aren't a match to the feeling or goal, you say them with that inflection and make them mean what your goal is?

audition week should be fun...

pg for friday!-100

today i contributed in our discussion,which makes perfect sense!i see that i do that so much,once you think about it,you see it.you just realise how much our animal instincts are still inside of us some where.i was also the one and only freshman to read my monologue,as bad and as fake as i was.i walked away feeling confused,crappy,stupid,confidence-less,and pissed at myself.so it was an interesting day to say the least.=].

wednesday.

ok,before i talk about the reading.i want to talk about today.

i'm really sorry about like running away when you were trying to talk to me.i was lost in thought,and i was so absorbed in it, i was kinda like,theres other people and there talking to me?

so again,i'm really sorry.

what i thought about the exorcise was basically...WHAT?i just can't get it.i can soft focus,because i've done it before.but i can never do it in class.and i know that were not supposed to be correcting ourselves,but i always feel like i'm doing everything wrong.i'm such a compulsive over thinker.so i like,can't get past it.so then i start thinking,well am i cut out for this?because i'm not doing it right.so then i get really down,and thats what happened today.so i was just caught up in everything.

so yeah.thats what i thought about the exorcise.

but on to the reading!

cherry orchard.

i still feel like nothing is going on!and its annoying the crap out of me.all i read is "yellow ball in side pocket"-gayev.or something about cutting down the cherry ochard.its just like will anything happen????i mean i appretiate the realness,how everything is true life for these people,nothing dramatic happens without a build up right?but i mean something has to occur soon!something...i mean i hate to say this,but i feel stupid when i read and i know there is something happening underneith it all,i'm just missing it!

its just so frustrating.

so the ovious.liubov is worried about the house but is hesitant to sell it or to start anything.gayev is worried as well,but he wants to keep the home,and i have to agree.i mean its your family's house,but wouldn't you rather live in it the way you remember for as long as possible and not start chopping things down and building things,then regret it later?or live and keep things in your memory as much as possible then say good-bye as you will always remeber?

lopakhin is bothering me!hes like that telemarketer that doesn't stop calling and trying to get you to buy timeshares.but he's alive!lopakhin just doesn't shut up.change the house,make money.change the house make money.his mind is so one tracked.just money money money and more money.i want someone to yell at him and just say shut up!

so i'm still reading miss julie,and its same old same old.i want to read mud!but i'm afaid if my parents knew what happened in it at all,they would say no.

pg-100
i took part in the exorcise today,as bad or confused as i was,i took part in it.i tried my hardest.i also swept today!and i think i still stepped on a pin without knowing.plus i totally fell on the steps,i dont know if you saw that...i also remembered my blacks today.i read and wrote my journal.

tuesday

another day of cherry orchard.

i feel like nothing is going on!what am i missing?everyones just catching up,trying to save the house,what else is there?????

i'm getting frustrated with this,because i feel like i'm missing something huge!but i have no idea what it is.and thats annoying the crap out of me.

leonid gayev talks to much;he's like the grandfather that keeps telling war stories or tells family secrets to the grandkids that aren't suposed to know.

varya is a big worrier.anya is the ideal little sister.thats all i really see!

anger directed toward cherry orchard and its meanings.anger directed toward my stupid little mind for not clicking with the story!

anyways...

also reading mrs.julie and i like it so far.even though it's a sextus piece of work its still good.

jean is such a jerk!i don't understand why julie likes him or lets him get away with what he's saying to her!

"miss julie-you talk as if your already stood high above me.
jean-well don't i?don't forget i could make you a countess but you can never make me a count."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all,julie might be treating him like an equal,like he's her boyfriend or what ever.but she is still above him in society,and she realises that.you would think jean would like being equal,that he would like not being told what to do.but he doesn't!he acts as if he's been above all along,that julie is just another person.sure he's mettions the fact that he is a servant,but then he goes back to beinga popus little...jerk!

and why is julie below him?????because she's a girl??????????

i dislike jean.

and julie just takes it!i thought she was a stronger character than that!but i guess not.

and finally.i started to read mud.just like the first scene.i had to put it down for a second,and just take a step back and say,did they just actually say that????

i want to read it but i'm almost fearful.like the first few lines and they had already dropped the f-bomb.twice.by the 20th line.so what else could possibly happen?

anyway.i'm sure i'm missing more than i know.in miss julie and cherry orchard.but it will click at some point,its just how i role.same with uncle vanya.it just might take a bit.

pg-100
i participated in the class disscussion today.i'm trying to look for more in everything,in the plays and the movie.i attempted with the monologue today...not to much fun.i had more memorized and it just flew out the window.like woosh!i also did journals today and i read,and i tried to memorize more of my monologue.

monday.

cherry orchard reading.

i'm just so confused with all these characters!i have no idea who they are.or why they're there.or anything!i tried the chart thing,but the text isn't helping,so i used the character analysis in the begining.

so now i have

liubov ranyeskaya-the mother and owner of the property.she has two kids anya and varya
anya-17 years old
varya-24, adopted.likes lopakhin
plus...
leonid gayev-who is liubov's brother.not sure what he does yes.but he's like an uncle to anya and varya.

then there are some friends there.

lopakhin-"buisness man" likes varya.
trofimov-grad student,no relations.
pishchik-neighbor basically; the book says he owns property in the neighborhood.so neighbor.
carlotta-governess;not sure to who,but i'm guessing shes married.
yepikhodov-accountant;he's the one causeing problems,because he says they have to sell the orchard to pay for the morgage.

then we have the help

dunyasha-maid; friends with anya and engaged to yepikhodov
firs-butler
yasha-valet.

so what i have read so far is that anya,yasha,and liubov,and carlotta have all returned from france.now the family and local friends are getting back together.

lopakhin has devised a plan to "save" the estate.by giving up the cherry orchard.but the family is extremely against giving it up.but lopakhin is really pushing the idea.

the family isn't extremely worried about the morgage,or at least they don't seem to be.even pishchik has problems with morgage and he's just waiting for money to fall into his lap.

the family is so open,but i feel like there is a problem lying under everything,like a family secret.and i also think there will be alot of love triangles to sort through.many "i think he/she likes me i might like him/her" relationships.

the chart/list above i think i'm going to use that in almost every blog,because it did help with the reading.so if you see it,ignore it basically.just there as my guide.

anyway.i'm still reading miss julie and i'm really excited to see how it ends.jean seems kind of basterd-y.like he's better than julie while still under her.like he knows deep down he's better,he should be higher up than miss julie.but he's under her.so his teachings and up bringing are over powering his better judgement.

julie just doesn't care.she seems like a "screw you if you don't like me and what i do!" kid of girl.which is cool,but then who would and how could someone convince her she's under anyone?under a man who should be under her? i'm so excited to see what happens!

pg-100
i still can not find the mainstage tab!i looked but i can't find it neither can my mom on a different computer.

but anyway.i offered to be a leader.today i swept and mopped the wing.i started to clean the cage...even though i didn't at first.i started!then we had to stop to help matt with the lights and wrapping cables.so i deserve a 100.

concert concepts.my phone messes them up...

pg-100

ok.so today.i brought in my stuff for the conssesions.i participated in class discussion i had my monologue.i helped with tech after school.runing to katelin,to the mall for batteries,to fill up the brita.just stuff.the concert was AMAZING.had the best time of my life.i was a giant dinosaur groupie!!!!!i'll be there for the reunion!so yeah.i deserve a 100.

from the lonely freshamn=]

pg-100

today i participated in the acting "games/warm ups" with the 8th graders.i was also there at rehersal.i took notes for you,even though i can't spell JAVI'S name right.and i have no idea what dan's songs are called,i took notes.i also helped matt with some of the lights,running back and forth to the cage,toward the end.and i'm really sorry i didn't let you know personally that i was leaving but i hope that dan passed along the messgae that my mom was waiting outside and really wanted to get going.

but i deserve a 100 mostly cause i was the only freshman there today=]

directed destany???

pg-100

so today.we did more tech.i tried to stay quiet.and i was there to help if ever neccesary.found out i am now pegged as a future director!great.i'm making sugar cookies for the show..if that matters as participation.learning more and more about tech everyday.i still believe i should be banned from anything super techinical like mics.just incase i spazz.anyway go giant dinosaur!

tech/movie day 2

ok,between rehersals and dance i dont have a whole lot of time for blogging.i'm going to post them all on thursday or friday.

pg-100

i wasn't sleeping today i swear!!!stupid eyes.evil.the root of evil.
anyway.i was paying attention to the movie,and i got more then i thought.i was lost(or so i thought!)but then i got it.so no problem there.i helped after school today.go giant dinasoar!one of only two freshman there!!!!but tech was so much fun.i' m going to be back on thursday if we still have practice.so i deserve a 100.

tech week day 1.

pg-100

today i helped matt die up loose wires on the elcetrics.as well as hang up lights on the electrics.i helped emily when neccessary.i learned how to gel the lights,how to put the gels in and how to set them up.tie line is evil because you either loose it or you have too much..came prepared with the rights clothes today.and i'm working out how to stay at the concert.i deserve a 100.

friday's participation.

pg-100

well today.every single freshman was scared out of their minds about colleges.i now have a new mantra.it's for julliard!!!!but today.i stayied quite durring the "college talk".and during your explaination.i'm sad that we didn't write much today,but we do have tech all next week!!!!!!!

(is it possible that for tech days we can change if we bring other clothes??

thursday's post.

flibbertigibbet i smy new favorite word.i don't know what it means,but i like it.

now the reading.
now theres more family?where are these people coming from and who are they!now we have liubov,gayev,lopakhin,and semyonov-pishchik.
everyone is kind of recalling,so oviously many of these people have not seen each other in a while.
so this old family house,is about to be sold because they couldn't pay the morgage.now to save it they're planning a renovation.but this involves cutting down the cherry orchard.a renownd orchard that the family loves,now is slipping through their fingers because of the morgage.i want to know who these people are though.like their relationships with each other.its driving me crazy not knowing who is who.and why they were gone and all of that.

i'm trying to take it slow with the reading because its new and all that.so i don't know how much i can write about today.

but i do want to talk about independant activity.

boy was that interesting.so yeah,i can do the turns not perfect though, thats why i chose them,because i'm a perfectionist with dance.
what i thought was funny was how you were correcting me.yeah my turn out sucks.i know.and so does spotting.
but i don't know,i was just like...mad that whole time,and i hated it!i wanted to just calm down,but with you and kaitlin both talking i wanted to scream.
but that would seem a little fake to me.
and to comment to what you said about dancing.honastly,i love where i am,were a really small studio and were like a family,so really i'd rather have fun and learn,than just learn.
maybe next year but for now i'm sticking to where i am.

pg-100
today oviously i did my independent activity and took a "beating" i guess.but i loved the honasty,i'd rather people tell me i sucked so badly than to say you did ok...because that doesn't help you at all to learn so thank you for that.next week i definatly want to try repetiton again.i was a mess last time,but i want to try again.i also blogged and was prepared today.so i deserve a 100.

wednesday's post

so a bit more to tack on to that thesis i've got going...

maybe its not so much the female to male punishments in the government,but how it was taken apon in society at the time.sure i can incorperate the punishments in law.but i feel that the biggest difference would be in the society.if a man does something,he wouldn't be talked about because of his power,his manly-ness!men do it because they're strong,not that it's seen as right but its almost they have more of a power to scare you or threaten you,so you'll say good things or ignore it.when a women commits a crime its looked down apon,she's seen as worthless almost.people say"why would she do that?" "what did she have to gain?".women are below men so they don't havepower,what can a woman do to you?their weak,easili breakable,emotional,like jello comparied to the man's rock.

reading.-chekhov cherry orchard

ok so our first comedy.and the longest by a whole act.

so its kinda like a bit of a family reunion happening in this house.many relatives have been off in france,its winter,everyone's catching up.
there's also alot of romaince.it seems like evryone likes someone,but no one's really married.all these people have a past with each other.
i'm still trying to get names down.they keep talking about "mama".so i'm guessing that all people besides dunyasha are related.brothers and sisters plus the girlfriends/boyfriends or spouces of the family.
what i want to know is what hapened.why is everyone returning after 5 years?what's happened that brings everyone back at the same time?what will happen?because with a big family there is always drama.i'm just waiting for something to happen.and to figure out all the characters.

i'm not really sure what else to say besides the basics.and are we only reading 4 plays this whole year?????or just this marking period?

wednesday participation

pg-100

so today was tech.i was failing constantly!but i tried.even though veronica and i might have pissed off mat with our inability to screw in screws.but after 5 times of being told how to do it, i think i got it.and i now feel bad for any techie.tech is hard stuff.everything was easy but the screws.they strongly dislike me,and vice versa.but go giant dinosaur!

tuesday's post.

so today.

i'm still trying to figure out six characters ending.i can't wait untill everyone gets through it,then we can go over it in class.untill then,i'm just a deer in headlights.

because i finished doll's house and 6 characters,am i allowed to talk about fat pig?or would you prefer that i read the next play,OR re-talk about 6 characters and doll's house?

for now,just to be safe i'll discuss six characters.

so,the big question on my mind is the step-daughter.why did she leave?what did that signify?why could she leave but the son could not?why did the young boy shoot himself?WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

purpose of me re-reading.clearly i didn't understand the play.i do have to admit that everytime the father went of on a tangent.i zoned out completely.i was not even close to home.some i got,some were ok,but then it would go on and i would loose it.

and besides that.i'm continueing my journey into fat pig in search of a monologue.i'm determined to do a good job and prove everyone wrong and actually like my monologue form freshman year.but i'm sure the hatred is inevitable and will come in time.but i realy want to be a senior and look back and say,it wasn't that bad!it wasn't tragic.i'm sure i will,but it would be super cool if i wouldn't.

so tha was today in a bit of nutshell.and i am proud to be a weird person who is also a theatre geek!

pg-100
today i took notes and participated in class,i got what you were saying.i actually understode the modernism,post-modernism,and post-post-modernism.it clicked.i'm super excited for tech tomorrow=]and then independant activity on thursday!i also posted my monday post and i started really working on my thesis paper.i'm kinda getting excited for it now.but i deserve a 100!!!!!

monday's post.

thesis paper.

possible thesis:i want to base it around something about how what nora did verses what krogstad did.nora would habbe been in more trouble,and while it was not acceptable it was more understandable when krogstad forged a signature.i'm just not sure how exactly to word this correctly.

so,my thoughts are that because of society at this time or the world presented to us by isben,men are seemed to be higher up on the "importance scale" than women. so if a man commited a crime,its still a problem, its still a crime but it's almost more acceptable than if it was a woman commiting the crime;case an point krogstad.

while he commited a crime,he still lived his life in society,still held a job,it might have taken him some time to do so,but it was still done.

when nora commited the same crime,her downfall would have been much harder.living without a husband,trying to find work,a record of poisioning her children,being forced away from them,along witht the fact that she would have been arreseted,and most likely thrown in jail.

but their motives were the same!both wanted to save someone,to protect someone in their family,but a crime was still commited,so why does krogstad get to stand in society and nora hides her head?

because he's a man????i do not find this fair.

QUESTIONS TO ANSWER OR POSSIBLE COUNTER ARGUEMENTS!
what other play rights were around during ibsen's time?or atleast the most prominate?and would they have similair views apon women,because this was the way of the time?

how do you know that these crimes were similiar and that they were done with similair motives?

could the only reason in the differnt punishments in these crimes be that krogstad was a man while nora was a woman?

do you nthink krogstad's possition in society(his job,his family)could have contributed to his protection?would nora have had this same protection from punishment as well?

so i'll look in on these,to help my thesis.
if you see any other arguements against my posisble thesis idea,could you tell me?or if i'm totally wrong in the similairities of these crimes can you tell me as well?

reading-i finished six characters and i want to re-analyse it,because i feel like i didn't get it again.i feel like i'm reading either along the surface,or tooooooooo deep into it.most likely the first.

and doll's house i need to re-read for evidance as well as find other plays around the same time.go reading!

but another question,if we find plays that help our thesis,we can mention them,but what about all the other plays from the same era that don't,what about all of those?because i feel it would be pretty hard to mention all plays from that one era,when do we know when to stop?

as for monologues,i bought my play fat pig,and i hope that my mom e-mailed you.she's aproved the play,and i've been telling her to send you an e-mail,so hopefully she will soon.

i've found a possible monologue,or a partial monologue,i just want to read the whole play bfore i deside for definate.

thursday-the end of 6 characters.

so it's all come together.kind of.

the boy.the young boy.what's his deal?for lack of a better term.he's like some little suicidal emo kid.and what happened in the garden with the little girl?did she drown?did she die?what happened?and how was the mother and son involved in all of it?

the mother and son are weird.because they don't do anything.they had amoment where everything felt like i was going to change,or we would know what was going on between them,but there never was.apparently it never happened,but according to the step-daughter something did...

now the step-daughter.why wasn't she surprised by the little boy having a revolver!he's young and she's like,whats that in your pocket?,like it was candy or somehting!i would have been screaming!!!why didn't she freak out???

and the little boy.he shot himself. and the sister drowned while following the brother,i guess.so the step-daughter sees this and starts crying?then the older brother comes in and what does he do?tries to save her.but then the little brother goes and blows his brains out?????

what the.......!!!!!!!!!!!

then why,why was the step-daughter running away from the family and laughing,was this her was of saying "screw you all!i'm sick of this f-ed up family!"?

and why are the characters almost chained together?the son says he came here not me!pointing torwad the father.so is it like some power thing with the father,but because the step-daughter is not a whole part of the family she can leave?

i need to re-read and think because i'm kinda blown away as to what just happened.

pg-100

today i came prepard for independent activity.i wrote my blog and read.i tried to grasp the repetition today,and i think we just have to really break down,but we also have to think.i'm afraid that i can't find anything in people besides the ovious,and then everyone repeats the same things like your scared,your faking,your nervous,your defensive.and when you ask people how they feel,i would always want to just scream at the other person how dare you judge me like that!or how do you see that!thats not true!but the truthfullness doesn't matter?

thats the whole purpose of the exercise.....!!

maybe i'm just over thinking everything.wouldn't be a shock to me.anayway.i think i should get a hundred today because i over think!

wednesday's post.

six characters update-what is going on?

i'm so confussed about six characters.

the son finally comes into play.and i'm not even sure why.there was a problem with him and his mother,but they never say what.is he mad at her abandoning him?leaving for another man?then coming back with 3 brand new siblings. is that what happened?

will we ever know what happened?i'm so lost.first it's one thing going on,then someone says no thats false or thats not right,and i just sit and say...what?

i'm up to the point where the actors come up to the characters and study them and observe them.i thought that was almost funny because the sterio-type of actors is that they have to STUDY and BECOME ONE with the character.but they get pushed away by the son,father and the director even!so that was a good moment.

i'm almost done with the whole play,only about 2-3 pages left in the norton anthologly.looking forward to maybe figuring everything out,maybe,hopefully.

tech time!

quick participation again.

pg-100
today,i helped with the teching as much as i could.i really want to be involved with the tech side,because i've never seen that side of theatre before.i've always been on stage,but i really want to be well rounded in all aspects of theatre.i tried to learn from the audtions today.because i have really bad nerves,so i saw how everyone controlled them well.and i saw what you ment by a director wanting to change what the actor is or does,but the actor is almost the clay,and has to be molded,while the director is the artist that forms the actor.

tuesday...i'm confused,but i get it!how is that possible.i'm not sure.but its happening!

today was,interesting to say the least.

i got to the part where the mother freaks out about the father and daughter.i really feel bad for her.she not only lives her life in the torture of what happened,but then she see's it.

and what the daughter says to the mother is scary.she is telling her mother to scream,to scream at what they've done again.and then the mother just goes and has to stop it.she can't live with it,but she has to.

and i read the part with the father and director.how the character's lives are more real than the directos,i kinda picked up the message but at the same time,i was lost.

which brings me tooo......hyperbolic doubt!wow.

the father goes into a whole rant on how he's more real than the director,and i'm thinking does that relate to hyperbolic doubt at all?becuase its like,the director can live day by day and all he knows is that he's there and alive.because he thinks.the characters think,but do they stray form their characters?no.so isn't that what we all do?we all have characters.that we play our personalities are all our thinking....

wait.thats so not hyperbolic.i'm wrong then.

but i totally understood today in class!i think.ha.i think it's my belief so its true.but its not becuase i have some doubt in it.only i am true.

but six characters,the father is right.he's more real because he doesn't change persay.he lives as his character.he's not real,more of an idea brought to life and taken apon it's self to live and breathe.the director is just himself and he changes daily,his days could be real,or they could be a dream,but his NOW is real,his thinking at that moment is real.he is real,but he will change and this only truth is his thoughts,just like ours.the father on the other hand is all truth,because he comes froma thought,all his actions are thoughts because he is a character.not a living human.so he will always be real 100%,but the director only has his thoughts.

that's hyperbolic doubt.

pg-100
today.i took notes.i wrote this blog.and i participated in the class discussion.i tried to keep up.and i hope i did.i got it,and now i jst have to obsess over it.i will never stop thinking about htis.becuase it just like,changes you.and shockingly i've thought of that before,how in the world do we know anything is truth?well we know were truth.thats it.anyway.i hope to help out tomorrow with auditions.and i deserve a 100 for today.

monday's post

so here we go with six characters.

the show has begun,persay.

the father and daughter did their whole scene.then they bring in the leading man and lady.and then its an actual rehersal.but the characters want it to be real,want it to really be them on stage without being on stage.

the step daughter is really interesting.she just. i don't know.explodes maybe?when the leading lady does her scene,or when she sees a part of the madame pace scene isn't there.she has to explain herself.

and what happened!wow.i was like screaming.its creepy,but interesting at the same time.and i love what the director says to her when she tries to tell mhim what happened.

"this is theatre!our motto is:truth up to a certain point!"

thats what the whole play is kind of about.pirandello just wants us to see that real and truth don't mean the same thing in theatre.you can have something that is real or could really happen,but its not the truth.the truth is every word,every action,what wants to be seen and what doesn't want to be seen all at the same time.all rolled into one.

the truth tops the real.

thats what i get out of it so far.

oh and i totally want to kill the father becuase he confusing me to no end.he just rants about all this philiosopical stuff,and i just sit for ever reading it over and over and over again,and i'm still like "yes...ok...i get it....anddddd....you lost me."

thats it!

participation really quick!

pg-100

so i can't blog today,becuase my dad has to work.but i have participation.today i had my blacks again.i participated with the grid exercize,and i'm pretty sure i was either breaking focus or in my own mind the whole time.but i'll get better i hope!i'm have some questions about the finals though...

are there finals every marking level?because i was lost about those...

anyway.i tried hard today,i hope it shouwed,and i really have to work on my focus.thats why i deserve a 100!

a doll's house-series of events

a doll's house.

it begins with the platform that everything in the household is ok.the family isn't rich or poor,but middle/high class.the wife has been shopping,the husband has been doing his work in the next room,eveything's good.

next,mrs.linde comes into the picture.she returns to her friend nora,after years of a hard working life,without her husband.and the issue of torvald's illness comes up.the audiance learns that the family had to spend a year on a vacation for torvald's health.

when nora tells mrs.linde that she didn't get the money for the trip from her father,but rather forged his signature on her own bank loan,and the money was given to her by krogstad.and that torvald does not know.

then,krogstad comes to talk with nora.saying that he knows nora's father didn't sign the loan,that it was forged.and that he will tell trovald what nora has done if she is un-able to convince torvald to let krogstad keep his position at the bank.(this is the insighting action.)

nora then hopes for a miricle,she hopes that rank,out of the kindness of his heart will give her the money to pay off krogstad.

nora later tries to plea krogstad's case to torvald.begging torvald not to fire krogstad.when this fails,she looks toward her last hope,rank.

rank comes to visit torvald,and has a quick chat with nora.while nora begins to ask him about the money,rank tells her,that he thinks he will soon be dying,and that he is in love with her,making nora unable of asking him for money.

shortly after,krogstad comes to talk with nora as well.saying since he's been fired,he wants a higher position at the bank.and if he can't get it.her secret is coming out.

when krogstad leaves,he places a letter explaining nora's wrongs in the letter box.

when christine learns of this she feels that the letter is for the best,that nora should tell her husband everything.

nora waits for her miracle.(end of act 2)

mrs.linde then meets krogstad.where she convinces him to give nora back her bond,and stop holding it over her.the two see that they love each other,and that their "messed up" lives could work out if they were together.mrs.linde and krogstad get their "happy ending" together.

later,nora and torvlad return home from their party.

torvald goes to the letter box,and sees what nora has done.he screams at her,saying how she's poisioning the children,and worrying about how he will look,how this will affect him.

when another letter comes from krogstad,saying that nora is basically excused from what she has done,that krogstad won't tell anyone.and torvald changes his mind about nora.he beggs her to come back,but nora's made her desision.

nora decides to leave.saying that she has poisioned the family,that by leaving she's helping her family,her kids.agreeing with torvald's first points,while torvald tries to convince her to come bakc ,to stay with the family.but she leaves.

six characters-thursday

they begin the play.its been decided that based on the characteres experiences,the script will be written then performed by the actors.

and madame pace is spanish.

i think i'm getting it a little better now.now that we'll get to see what happened in the dress shop,with madame pace and the father and step-daughter.becasue they'll perform it.

so the daughter is a prostitute of some sorts?is that why there is a problem between her and the father?so the father went to the shop,and got her.his step-daughter.

that is messed up!

but i find it really comical how all the characters don't really like the actors that play them.the step-daughter and leading lady are competing almost for their part.the father was just confused.the mother's actor had problems with the name.for the director its almost "do you want to direct????..no?then great let me do it!"

its the same with the set.i almost want to tell the characters,you chose to come in search of your author.now that you have your story being written,just let it be wrote.just let go.but i feel like they wish they could do it themselves and they don't understand the workings of a play.maybe in the end, the whole play could go up on smoke,just because of the characters,the people who brought the play there.

i just want to see what happens already.i wish i could read the whole play at once,but i wouldn't understand a thing.

pg-100
today.i had my blacks.i wrote my dialogue,and i did the blogging.i wanted to do the repatition,but i'm happy i didn't.becuase now i can see how to do it correctly,and repeate,rather than have a conversation with the other person.i will go next week.i'm promising myself.and i'm excited for independant activity.mine might be too,for lack of a better word,pointless.but i have to think it over again,pick something thats hard,and has purpose.

wednesday.six characters is jerry springer.

so.

whats going on here.

i have no clue.none.

the fathe rlikes to talk in long drawn out speeches,often times thats what throws me off.he was talking about being a different person for each action,while the daughter was saying something about a dress maker.

there is oviously something that happened between the father ans step-daughter.
then the step-daughter and the son
then the son and the mother.

but what is it!i feel like once they say what exactly happened,i'll get the play.

but i find it really interesting when the director comes into play.i feel at first its like hours of realism,then someone comments for a bit,then back to realism.its like what we do in class.

but back to the stroy.i feel like the father did something to the step-daughter.did he rape her or something?because thats what it sounds like to me.then that would explain the step-daughters anger toward him.

but what is up with this family!its like a jerry springer show gone to the stage with less cursing and fighting.i'm just confused with the whole conflict.and the language too a bit.its not old i know that!but i just feel like its different...i'm not sure why.

but i can't wait untill they "rehearse" the six characters real life drama.because that will be interesting.what will the actors do?just sit there?i will wait and see.

dialoge time!

ok.so this.might be a bit weird.see that both of my past characters have been really general,so i need to "define them" i guess.hopefully this makes sense.

we have megan(first monologue) and samantha(second monologue)the two girls are acquaintances,each knowing enough of the other to have an argument.

megan is the smarter of the two girls.more dark and artistic.thinks with more definition and clear thoughts.she is a writer.

samantha is a bubbly girl,who is "random" at times.she not dumb,but not smart,and is very defensive of herself.she tends to blurt out what is exactly on her mind.whether it makes sense or not.

part from soc: shelp.

begin.

megan-(almost mockingly and sarcastically)i see that this whole over thinking thing,is something you've put alot of thought into.

samantha-(catches hint.slightly ticked off)well writing is something you put alot of thought into.

megan-(laughing)yeah.but my interest has a purpose in life.thinking about thinking is fucking beyond pointless.it just gets too dam confusing,and by that time, its ironic that your straining yourself thinking about thinking!

samantha-it's not my interest!it's what was on my mind!is "angry writing" on your mind all the time then?

megan-yeah when i'm angry.

samantha-(defending herself)well thats pretty dam pointless too!angry writing?who thinks about that?who would take the time to break that down to an almost science?who would write angerly so much,that they could discribe it like you did?

megan-anyone can describe something sam.it's not hard.

samantha-is that like some fucking stupid joke or something?!!?because listen bitch!i am far from stupid!

megan-maybe it is,maybe it isn't.maybe i think your one of the stupidest persons i've ever met!

samatha-(seems at a loss for words)well...it's....i....but.....bleh!fucking shelp.

megan-did you just say shelp?what in the hell is shelp?

samantha-i don't know its the first thing i could fucking think of!maybe its some fucking swedish band or some shit!

megan-why the hell is it swedish?

samantha-i don't know!it sounds fucking swedish!so i think it is!why don't you look it up or some shit!

megan-i really want to know now.like.is it really swedish?here i'll check on my phone.

samantha-really?are you serious right now?

megan-..how would you spell that?shelp?s-h-e-l-l-p-p?or one p?or one l?what do you think?

samantha-how the hell should i know!i'm just shocked how your trying to look this up.(rools eyes during megan's speach.stays for a bit.then leaves.)

megan-ok.so shelp.one l one p,is a indie rock band,that uses sheep recordings in all of their songs.there lead singer is named katie B-brownie.guitarist is caitlin schweer.weird name on that one.they have 5 sheep named happy,sappy,rappy,tappy,and bill.and they are from....NORWAY?!i really thought you were right on that one sam.this band seems really cool though.oh look they're going on tour soon!and they're stopping right around here!god.i really want to see them now.i'm like shocked how you totally guessed that though.its like you have esp or something.right sam?(notices sam has walked away)uh sam...want me to get you a ticket?

end.

wednesday participation

pg-100
today we did view points.and i learned i can't be critical of myself.and that we have to be un-civilized to be actors.i'm scared now.i'm my number one critic,and now that we can't really do that.i might be lost at first.
but anyway,i participated today.i tried not to lead or have an ego.but i think i faultered alot.i can't help but laugh when we go group thought.i need to learn focus.once i think i have that,i think i'll be better with view points.
and thats why i want an A!!!!!!!!

six characters day 2!

so i think this is what going on with the 6 characters.

the mother.was with the father for sometime.untill she met his secretary.the father could see that she was un-happy with him so he sent her away with the secretary.
while with the secretary.the mother had a child,the step daughter.
the father kept their one child the son.and these two began to drift apart and butt heads.
then the father became curious of his wife's new family.
so he (for lack of a better word)stalked the step daughter.the way she describes it.he sounds like a petifile to me.is that the conflict going on between them?the reason for their tension together?

but when this new father died.they were poor so the mother came back to the town where the father lived.
the mother then took a job.where the owner and her boss was "after" her daughter in some way.

i'm confussed to say the least.they seem to be talking about things while skipping over others.where did the last two children come from?what happend with the father and step daughter?what is up with the son?is this an affair?or simply another relationship?when will the other actors on stage be brought in?or are they there for "Decoration?".

confussed.questioning.i'm trying to read into it more,to try and grasp whats going on,but i can't.

pg-100

so today we helped the seniors read.i'm really excited for mainstage.but today.i took notes in class.i asked you about the monologues,which i'm working on.i looked them up online,but i guess they're not there,you have to buy them.so i need a trip to barnes and noble.
anyways.i read with kaitlin today.i felt it was ok,though i know it wasn't my best.even though it was for kaitlins sake,i wish i colud have done better.
so i tried!that why i deserve a 100.